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My boyfriend wishes I didn't have a kid.

I been with my boyfriend for a year now. He was in my sons life since he was 5 months old! He's about to turn two. For awhile now, my boyfriend would say stuff like how he wishes he had met me first . He wishes my son was his. I was suppose to be the mother of his child. Stuff like that. Didn't bother me much. But tonight, I got this odd feeling from him. As if he was very annoyed with my son. Wasn't playing with him much, calling him handsome, not even looking at him. So I asked him, do you wish I didn't have a kid or something? He just said he feels like an outcast. He feels like he's outside of the family. Between my son , me and my sons father. He feels as if my son will never respect him. So, when I asked again, do you wish I never had a kid... He just said. "Baby stop". I don't know how to feel about this whole thing! I feel so hurt!!!! He's obviously accepted my son, but mentally, he wishes I never had him. I told him my son comes first always. I don't know what to do or think at this point. Am I just overreacting? I mean this has to be hard for anyone....right? *sighhhh* also, he does treat him good. He plays with him, dressed him, all that other stuff. I may just be over thinking. I'm an over thinker. :/

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Jan. 3, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • See ya!

    Sorry but I would be out the door. If my SO didn't love my child like his own I couldn't stay with him. He has been with that baby for most of his life, if he doesn't get it... he never will.

    Big hugs Momma!
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:53 PM on Jan. 3, 2013

  • Sounds like you put words in his mouth that he did not say.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 11:54 PM on Jan. 3, 2013

  • Go back up and reread your question and explanation. Now put yourself in your own child's place. Would you want that to be someone in your own mother's life? That's not how it works. You go find someone who will treat your child like you would. Don't settle for a man.....
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:57 PM on Jan. 3, 2013

  • Exactly! I've tried telling him that!!! 5 months!!! That's plentyyyyyyyy of time!!!! And no, he did not exactly say he wished I didn't have him. But he didn't deny also. Both times I've asked him...so to me that sounds like, he wishes I didn't.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:57 PM on Jan. 3, 2013

  • Since he has been with him since 5 months he should have built some relationship with him.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:58 PM on Jan. 3, 2013

  • What man does not want the woman he is with to at least pretend that he is the most important person in her life? You are not even married yet and yet he heard you say that he isless than. Men hear things differently than we do. In all that you said I never heard anything except you supposing that he wishes you didn't have a child. Your words hurt and confused him. He has demonstrated his acceptance and love of your son.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:05 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • It's been an hour since we had this conversation. Right after we had it, I told him I had to leave to clear my head... I'm still out in my car, I just took a drive. And he hasn't text or called, to convince me otherwise.

    But I suppose you're right.
    He does demonstrate it...*sigh* I'm too much...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:13 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • Respect? Two year olds don't respect anyone! Except Santa Claus and Elmo!

    I think your boyfriend is looking for a way to become your EX boyfriend but isn't man enough to admit it.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:41 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • I cannot tell you to leave him but I am on the outside looking in and can see this much clearer than if I were in it like you. This man is not good for you or your son. There are countless stories of "Mommy's boyfriend" harming the child to the point the child is no longer here. I do not mean to come off dramatic but seriously, if he cannot feel "in" the family I would get over the sentiment you are feeling for him and make distance. Who do you love more: your son? or this man who has no real ties to you or your son (the same son he wishes was out of the picture).

    I'm sorry but it is sick to keep anyone that is not for you and your child's good.
    CiaForTheWin

    Answer by CiaForTheWin at 1:32 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • If I were you and he would have said that stuff to me . He would be an EX BF right now.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:09 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

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