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4 Bumps

Why does my son annoy me?

I'd like to start off by saying that I currently teach in a middle school, and I have taught at the high school level as well. After years of giving advice, I find it difficult to follow. It is a chore to get additional work out of him like practicing his writing, or getting him to read. The only thing he wants to do is play video games. I have taken the console controllers away in the past, but it is so tedious. I feel like I'm a dentist 24-7 (pulling teeth.) I just find it so annoying. I know I only see my students max four hours a day, but they seem more enjoyable than him.


Asked by ns1969 at 12:58 AM on Jan. 4, 2013 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Are you depressed? The teacher student relationship is structured differently than the mother son relationship. There is structure in the school setting. At home it is hit and miss.

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:18 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • Kids always annoy their parents ---nothing unusual here. Maybe he feels you are nagging him about practicing his writing, etc. and feels like he is at school even when he is at home. Let him take responsibility for his own work.

    Answer by lga1965 at 10:47 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • maybe they are more enjoyable to you! which is fine at least you are admitting it. Well, my first reaction was well, easy, he's a teenager thats why he annoys you! But then I looked closer and noticed he is only a tween. Teens/Tweens have their own little mind going non stop. It is almost like they are discovering a new world for the first time because they are being exposed to so much. Video games are very annoying too. Try to avert this annoyance to the fact video games exist and are addicting, rather than to the fact he plays them. He will never change might I add so taking them away wiill only piss him off and not like you. I suggest using Positive reinforcement as much as possible. Also you are a teacher so you already know, be strict! stand your ground. i will try to think of more ways to help, this is a tough one

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 1:17 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • It's easier to deal with students than with people close to you. They're part of your job and you can shut the door on them when you leave work. You're only exposed to them for a limited time in a given day and part of your brain tells you that. We nearly always have a lower tolerance threshold with our loved ones. I taught Engish as a foreign language to adults for years and put up with some truly awful students :) but it was all part of my job. One day, my partner asked me to teach him English and I tried, good grief, I tried ... I found that I could not tolerate mistakes from him that I accedpted easily from my students. All of my frustrations at my work came out on him at the slightest error. I gave up because my relationship was more important than his education and, besides, there were other possibilities for him to learn English ...

    All of that was just to say that it's perfectly normal for you to feel this way. :)

    Answer by winterglow at 4:27 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • Yeah, that's pretty normal. Teenage boys are pretty lazy. (I had two brothers).... Try to get him involved in something outside the home. Now is the time he can be learning about cars, plumbing, construction etc. There are a ton of guys out there who would love to have an apprentice. This would be great! Even though I had girls, my ex would come get the girls to clean up job sites, help him lay tile, etc.....

    Answer by m-avi at 11:35 AM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • Baggage or "unfinished business" is the reason! Or, your existing "buttons" are the reason he annoys you (pushes your buttons) and we only have "buttons" inside because of our emotional baggage and unfinished business.
    It's the feelings his behavior & issues trigger in you.
    Of course, it's because he's your son and it's a personal connection, as others have pointed out. But that, above, is the reason WHY this is true.
    I've seen daycare workers post here about their infinite patience with two year olds at work, but a totally different emotional experience with their OWN children at that age.
    I find parenting (and any close, intimate relationship in general--so this of course includes a partner relationship) to offer TREMENDOUS opportunity for personal growth simply because of the way the many interactions spotlight old wounds & highlight our unresolved issues that we have the opportunity to revisit, and to heal, in the present.

    Answer by girlwithC at 2:41 PM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • We all go through this annoying stage whether we are teachers or not...

    Answer by older at 9:30 PM on Jan. 4, 2013