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4 Bumps

What is more important to you having a relationship regardless of how you are treated or your self esteem, self respect and self worth?

I find some of the situations that have been written about on here, so sad. I have never felt I needed a man in my life. It is sad to see so many women feel like their only choice is to put up with such awful people in their life.

 
booklover545

Asked by booklover545 at 11:32 PM on Jan. 4, 2013 in Relationships

Level 38 (104,755 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Self first... just like when the oxygen mask comes down in the airplane. You have to have yourself under control before you can help anyone else. By the same token, you have to have love and respect for yourself before you can give it to anyone.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:42 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • My first priority is myself. If I'm not happy with myself and lack self respect, self esteem and self worth, how can I possibly be the best wife, mom and friend I can be.
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 11:35 PM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • Your self esteem, self worth and respect are key to your life!
    Having a jerk treat you like crap day in and day out will wear down that positive attitude - and it is not healthy
    madmueller

    Answer by madmueller at 11:38 PM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • self esteem, self respect and self worth of course!

    i think often times women dont realize what a jackass they're with until its too late and they are either tied to a guy (baby/marriage) or so helplessly in love it hurts too much to even think of leaving them. the guy i was engaged to before i met my DH was an ass, but i never even realized. it wasnt until i went off to college and other ppl pointed out his crappy behavior that i realized how lucky i was to have gotten away from him. but it still hurt so bad when i broke up with him...i cant imagine how much harder that is when you have kids in the mix and have to think about how you're going to care for them.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 11:45 PM on Jan. 4, 2013

  • I agree with all that's been said, but sometimes I think you can resolve to get your self-respect back, to rebuild it, while both of you are working on the relationship you still have, even when some on the outside seem like they believe it's time to make a clean sweep and start over. My boyfriend and I are still facing some pretty insurmountable odds, but we're trying to put the love and tenderness back into our lives and remember what brought us together. We'll see if it's enough..
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:38 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • It's sad that this even has to be a question, but you're right. There are so many women who don't value themselves.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 1:38 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • It is good to have a man in your life if he complements you. As in he is good for you. If a guy is not good for my life I get rid of him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:52 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • I used to be the type that wanted a relationship at any expense. That got me some really screwy, awful relationships. After a lot of soul searching, I've finally reached a point in my life where I've got my own life, and a relationship would have to fit into that. And right now, it doesn't. I'm single, and I'm really happy being single. I enjoy being with my kids, my family, my friends, doing my own thing. If the right guy comes along, I'll make time for him - but he's going to have to be pretty outstanding. I've learned that it's definitely better to be happy alone than miserable with someone else.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:21 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Great question, that helps us establish life's priorities. However, we must realize that women may be trapped in a tough situation because of the kids, lack of money, lack of a place to go, or even immigration issues.
    They may need to plan longer to get out of this mess, all because of lack of resources.
    Hence it's not that they lack self respect, but their "escape route" may be more complex than others.....
    MamaaSutra

    Answer by MamaaSutra at 2:33 PM on Jan. 5, 2013