Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I'm pregnant and in a dilemma

I'm pregnant right now.... I already have a 4yr old dd. her dad and I are not together. I met someone else and we've been dating and got pregnant. I'm currently 4 weeks.

I'm in a dilemma.

I'm 28, unwed with a child already and I don't want to be viewed in a bad light!
I don't want to have an abortion but I'm leaning towards it
The baby's father doesn't want any kids right because he has 2 small children.
I don't know what to do. He wants me to abort it.
I don't want another kid out of wedlock and I don't want to end up being a single mom to two kids!

I know I should've thought about it but now it happened and I can't ponder on I shouldn't.

Any advice, words of encouragement?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:34 AM on Jan. 5, 2013 in Pregnancy

Answers (8)
  • Be prepared for the offers you'll get to trade your 'problem' for a solution. Adoption
    But don't believe without a doubt that it's pain free and nothing but good. It CAN bring up additional problems.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Honestly, you have to due what is right for you and your family. Personally I would never abort a pregnancy and I saw the pain a miscarriage caused my friends and would imagine aborting an unintentional pregnancy would cause the same hurt. You have a little time to decide why not look into adoption or talk to your bf more about why he doesn't want to have this baby before you decide.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • No one hear can tell you what to do. This is a decision that YOU have to live with, not any of us. People respond to abortion or adoption in completely different ways. I have one friend who has had several abortions without any bad feelings. I have another friend who had one abortion and can't seem to get past the guilt. I also have friends who decided to bless a childless with children, but again, some are good with it and some feel guilt. In addition, if you keep the baby, are you going to then resent the child in some way?

    I would suggest talking to a professional about it. I think Planned Parenthood and some other agencies have people available to provide counseling about this type of decision.

    Good luck!!

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:13 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • sounds like you're in a pickle! I'd suggest adoption


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • what are your reasons for not having this child
    if being single mom is only real big issue
    that to me is not a reason enough
    how others will judge you for 2 children, 2 different fathers and not married... you would have abortion for these reasons?!
    i think that you have some more soul seraching to do

    i am pro choice
    but sounds like you are not yet thinking clearly
    and what i mean is, he wants to abort, others may judge you so abort
    but you did not really state what you are feeling
    take all others out of the equation
    what is best for you?

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:46 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Adoption.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • I am a single mother with 3 children. I can tell you, it is not that big of a deal. People don't look down on me because of it. If anything, I get tons of sympathy and support. It's not the child's fault that you didn't think of this before you opened your legs. Either step up to the plate and deal with it or choose adoption. There are so many couples out there that would love to have a child and can't.
    You have a 4 yr old. How are you going to tell her that you killed her little brother or sister? Just because you were afraid of being judged.
    The father of my oldest wanted me to have an abortion. He offered to pay. I told him where he could go. It hasn't been easy, but I have never regretted the decision.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 11:44 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • If you are considering adoption, please contact me. My husband and I are looking to adopt. Thank you.

    Answer by DocP at 10:38 AM on Feb. 2, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.