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4 Bumps

Would you bond your 18 year old son out of jail?

My son turned 18 a few months ago and he has his own car.He does not really work and is not in school. Most of the time he is extremely disrespectful towards me. He does not really come here much, he chooses to stay at my parents house bc he can basically do as he wishes. I just received a call notifying me that my son was arrested and charged with a felony for having 5 nickel bags of marijuana in his car that the cops saw him throw out. my family is calling me asking me to help get him out and I am insisting that he stay there or he will learn nothing. I think that tough love needs to be applied since nothing else has worked.This is his first arrest,should I leave him there?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Jan. 5, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (21)


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Leave him there. I hope he learns from this. You also need to speak to your family, and let them know that they are enabling his behavior, and it's not helping him, it's hurting him.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:21 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Since it would not be interfering with his job or school- I would let him serve the time. He does need to learn and sooner rather than later. I might bond him out if he agreed to go into an inpatient drug program with the understanding that he may not live at home unless he completes it. I understand that marijuana is not as addictive as other drugs and that it is not as 'dangerous' but the fact remains it is illegal in most states still. The fact that he is already choosing to break the law for the sake of illegal drugs would concern me.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 10:32 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • How much is the bond? If it's not a tremendous amount then I would go & get him out. I think he may be crying out for love even though he is older & doesn't realize it. Go & let him know you love him & help him work it out. If he feels like a failure he'll aim for failure. Give him support & sit down & talk like when he was small. GL!


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 10:49 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Leave him their. He does not work or go to school? Leave him their.

    Answer by louise2 at 10:54 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • well it looks like you have your answer. nooo do not bail him out leave him let him learn,if you do you will just keep bailing him out all of your life and he will never learn..

    Answer by m.gaynor at 10:59 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Wow! That is freeking scary for any parent!
    I would pick him up and take him out of jail, then take his butt directly to the travel agency called "RECRUITMENT OFFICE" and put him in the military. By bringing him back home he will continue to go on the path of destruction and the miltary will truly set him on the right track and make a man out of him! When he finishes boot camp, and he comes home, he will be a changed person one you will be proud of!

    Answer by madmueller at 11:16 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • I'm with you. He chose not to live with you and preferred to go where things were easier. He made a mistake now it's up to him to deal with it. It doesn't mean you don't love him, just that he needs to assume the consequences of his actions.

    Answer by winterglow at 11:29 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  •  I'm so sorry you are faced with this.  I think I agree w/ the others who say to leave him there.  He will get credit for time served & will not be losing out on work or school, so what better way to spend his time?!  Hopefully this is the lesson he needs to straighten up.  With his young age & this being his 1st offense, they may take it easy on him if he can prove he's willing to turn his life around.  If you have the $, offer to pay for his defense, (not bail) but only on your terms of what you expect of him in return.  GL


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Leave him there. It will just be a day or so then hell be released until his trial and sentencing. Hes just in jail, not prison. Hell be fine and it will give him time to think

    Answer by Nimue930 at 12:45 PM on Jan. 5, 2013

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