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4 Bumps

Would you bond your 18 year old son out of jail?

My son turned 18 a few months ago and he has his own car.He does not really work and is not in school. Most of the time he is extremely disrespectful towards me. He does not really come here much, he chooses to stay at my parents house bc he can basically do as he wishes. I just received a call notifying me that my son was arrested and charged with a felony for having 5 nickel bags of marijuana in his car that the cops saw him throw out. my family is calling me asking me to help get him out and I am insisting that he stay there or he will learn nothing. I think that tough love needs to be applied since nothing else has worked.This is his first arrest,should I leave him there?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:05 AM on Jan. 5, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (21)
  • Since he will not be missing school or work time he can stay there. I would go visit him though.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:01 PM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • I am sorry parenting does not stop because your grown kids make mistakes or turn 18, I would bail him out in a heartbeat, and make him work and pay me back....the experience of an arrest should be enough to scare him ....

    Answer by older at 6:38 PM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • leave him there

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 7:36 PM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • I would get him out. Thats just me though. I have a weakness when it comes to tough love.

    Answer by JennieMarie1103 at 11:21 PM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • How can you hope to learn from your mistakes if you never have to face the consequences? Leave him there and talk seriously to your parents. They are not helping him but quite the opposite.
    If you can ask the judge to offer him a choice of either serving his country or serving time.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:25 PM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • In your situation, no I wouldn't. If my son and I had a good relationship where he showed me respect and I thought he deserved my help, then yes I would.

    Answer by AidansMomMom at 11:28 PM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Not only no, but HELL TO THE NO!!! I would never bond my son out of jail. I tell him the same thing my parents told me, "if you end up in jail, don't call me!" It sucks that he has put you in that position but, I would tell your family if they want him out hen they can pay the bond.

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 11:35 PM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • I think you made the best decision! My daughter is 20 and there is no way I would give her a get out of jail free card in that situation!

    Answer by 1CopaceticMama at 7:29 AM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • The best thing he can do is get into the military.

    Answer by FroggyFeet at 10:35 AM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Leave is ass there! No matter what you do you cannot control the future he decides on. Let him get a good dose of jail food, public pooing and showering and all the other disgusting stuff that happens behind bars. I find the hardest part of parenting is not enabling my kids. Parenting is a guilty business., kids use guilt to control us.

    That being said, advice is easier to give than to take. I'd definately call and/or visit.

    Answer by Jomasjc at 1:11 PM on Feb. 1, 2013

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