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2 Bumps

How to cope with a break up during a pregnancy?, should I moved to another state to start over or stay here where he is?

My husband broke up with me when I got pregnant. He gave me an ultimatum that it was either the marriage or the baby. If I kept the baby, he would stop my immigration papers. I chose the baby, he stop my papers, cancelled my car insurance, stole his plates off my car on Christmas Eve, cut my phone off. least to say it has been 4 months of hell. I felt I was being crucify for wanting this baby. I have been going through a roller coaster of emotions, I hate him to deep down I still care for him. I was hoping that with the birth of our son he would come around but I'm so hurt I want nothing to do with him. I don't know if I should move to another state or stay here hoping for the best. Please someone advice me on what to do.

Answer Question
 
PicklesW

Asked by PicklesW at 10:16 AM on Jan. 5, 2013 in Pregnancy

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • immigration papers? where are you from? wouldn't you being married make you a citizen?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • i wouldnt move but,i wouldnt let him have anything to do with that baby eather.devorce him and focus on you and that baby...... occupie your time you will be over him befor you know it..
    m.gaynor

    Answer by m.gaynor at 10:43 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • If possible , move and do not tell him were you are. As long as possible.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:46 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • i too find his actions very scary
    if you have some family or friends, some supportive people elsewhere- i would move in a heartbeat

    his actions are controlling, and he will not change when a baby comes along
    he is scary so far, and he could very likely get worse

    you have decided to have this child and raise him/her on your own... run from this scary man
    and do not let him know where you are
    might be some legal loopholes, your immigration and you are married and pregnant, so tricky when you have baby on fathers name on BC, and he might be notified

    get a lawyer

    i would run from him
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:52 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Thank you all for your comments. I have been getting support from family and friends and I did get a lawyer which was the last thing i wanted to do. I guess the confusion is coming from being in shocked at my husband's behaviour. He totally became a different person since the pregnancy and I was blaming this on his anxieties and being scared of the change. But I do know after all of this the best thing is to get away from him
    PicklesW

    Comment by PicklesW (original poster) at 11:17 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Please document all of this. Keep any and every document that shows what he did (this includes email). You want to be able to prove what he did in the event that he grows up in a couple of years and realizes that he wants to get to know his child - personally, I would not want him being allowed to be alone with a child that he tried hard to get rid of before its birth and I'm sure you wouldn't either.

    I'm glad that you have a support system.
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 11:26 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Anon, there are few places in the world where marriage = nationality. At best, it gives you a little head start for drawing up all your papers.
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 11:27 AM on Jan. 5, 2013

  • Wow I'm so glad you chose the baby, that man sounds insane! Document and record as much as possible in case that jerk ever decides to try to be involved in your child's life! Go wherever you want and feel safe knowing you got rid of the most toxic thing in your life and replaced it with the most wonderful gift a person could ask for. Stay strong.
    CassaLuna

    Answer by CassaLuna at 2:24 AM on Jan. 6, 2013

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