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How do I have a relationship with the man I love that is totally iritated by my daughters anger and bad attitude and we all live together with his two children?

My daughter has had a lot of problems and is very angry. My boyfriend that we live with doesnt care why shes angry and is very critical of her. My daughter doesnt want to be around him or his kids and says Im choosing them over her. What do I do?

Answer Question
 
quad73

Asked by quad73 at 7:02 AM on Jan. 6, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Family counseling until the situation improves.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:08 AM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • Have you done anything to manage her anger problems? He probably feels that you are favoring her and putting her needs above those of the other people in the family. Everyone needs to go into counseling to work out the problems with communication in your relationships.
    amandajoy21

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 8:05 AM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • Your daughter comes first. Maybe this isn't the best living arrangement right now. You need to talk to a professional about how to work with her because her problems will only get bigger. Good Luck.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 8:12 AM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • Did you know this is the way your DD felt before getting together with this man? If so why did you get with him?


     I had something like this. But different. When I married my DH. My oldest was 10. She was ok with us getting together. Acted ok. Then when she started going through puberty 2 to 4 years later. She went crazy. Hated both of us. I blamed that on puberty not my DH.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:37 AM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • you leave the asshole who doesn't understand. Your child comes first and if you have a problem with that then please let her live with someone who will not put a man who treats her like shit above her being loved.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:48 AM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • You don't, raise your Child first then look for men. If he really loves you he will understand and wait. If he doesn't well then you know it wasn't right.
    daps

    Answer by daps at 9:54 AM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • Take care of your children first.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 1:07 PM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • you wrote: My boyfriend that we live with doesnt care why shes angry and is very critical of her.

    I think this is key.
    This dynamic contributes to a downward spiral, and will continue to escalate situations with your daughter, as well as exacerbating the situation.
    You can't make him care or change, but you can respond to the dynamic at hand.
    Likely he feels at a loss, and feels hopeless (because he also feels helpless--at a loss!) So it's possible that getting some support could help things improve because he (along with you) would have some strategies for how to respond differently. This would depend on if he is motivated & committed, but that would become apparent as you worked with a family counselor (especially one who thinks in terms of family systems.) That could offer some clarity as for what you are working with....a situation in which he just needs some guidance, tools & hope? Or lack of interest?
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 11:15 AM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Your daughter should come first.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 11:32 AM on Jan. 8, 2013

  • Sacrafice for your daughter. If your boyfriend could careless why your daughter is so angry, then its time that you take a good look at your relationship with him and put your daughter first.

    There maybe a reason behind her whole anger issues and instead of worrying about having a relationship with him, worry about why your daughter is so angry. Just some food for thought...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 2:04 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

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