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Help!! Bed time..

My 5 year old is having issues sleeping. We lay down at 830 and he is up till 11 or 12. just laying there. He will get out of bed over and over again. And i dont know what to do anymore. plus he gets up at 5-6 no matter what. He is in preschool. He doesnt have naps when he is home from school on the weekends and he only sleeps for an hour or so at school during the week. What can I do to get him to go right to bed?

Answer Question

Asked by ljmommy1211 at 1:09 PM on Jan. 6, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 15 (2,097 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 1:16 PM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • Why are you posting this again? We see the first one still.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:19 PM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • What is the bedtime routine? I would start there. Do you start winding him down before bed?
    With my son (age 4), who used to do something similar to this, here's what we do:
    6:30 dinner
    After dinner- quiet family time- no running around. Playing with trains, doing puzzles, reading books, snuggling on sofa watching TV, etc
    7:30- Brush teeth, use toilet, get into PJs
    After that, he turns on his music (bedtime music, same as he's had since he was an infant) and his night light, goes to say good night to Daddy, and we sit in the chair in his room for a few minutes. Sometimes he wants to talk for a few minutes, and that's okay, but then I wind him down and sit with him. We'll sit for a few minutes, then he goes to his bed (alone). I sit in the chair for a few minutes (and play with my phone, dimmed, or read a magazine with my booklight), then leave. I check on him every 5 minutes (he knows to expect this) until he's asleep.

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:24 PM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • He's usually asleep after 15 minutes or so now. Used to take him 2 hours or more.

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:24 PM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • No stimulation before bedtime - read a nice story get him to the point of calm..
    We always had a fan going in their room (a small floor fan) just for the noise, because they could hear everything going on when they were trying to sleep...once the fan is on it's that calming white noise..they still use it now and knock out till the next day because of it

    Answer by madmueller at 2:11 PM on Jan. 6, 2013

  • I'm assuming you're doing all the recommended stuff with your bedtime routine.
    If so, and you're still struggling, then I would say don't be afraid of roughhousing before bed. Sometimes, trying to orchestrate the perfect non-stimulating "go to sleep" environment and minimizing or disallowing physical or rambunctious play/laughing can work against us, particularly if a child NEEDS to discharge physical or emotional energy, or if our focus on making the sleep "happen" is so transparent & obvious that it triggers some kind of control issue or power struggle.
    I'd look for ways to let your child release, either through big tears or through laughter, by building safety thru increasing connection.
    There is a lot of info out there (including a new book on The Art Of Roughhousing) on the importance & value of physical, rowdy play. A big part of it is the fact that it facilitates emotional release & is very connecting, at the same time.

    Answer by girlwithC at 3:44 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Here's a link with some good discussion on addressing underlying issues.

    How To Help Your Kids Relax

    It discusses ways to help children release tension. Many of us focus a lot on avoiding or stopping upsets, and we unintentionally generate "baggage" for our kids when we distract them from off-loading distressing emotions (frustration, anger, grief, disappointment) through tears and venting. Making space for a meltdown after a disappointment, when you stay close & listen (just offering emotional containment, rather than removing warmth & attention whenever a child gets too upset in order to discourage that behavior) can make a big difference.
    If the issue is unresolved separation anxiety (that comes alive again symbolically at bedtime), then boosting your connection & finding laughter with him can help to offload that tension.

    Answer by girlwithC at 4:02 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

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