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maybe just....dumb?

I consider myself a fairly rational person. I can be emotional, too, but when it comes to my relationships and communication, I try to be level-headed. I have learned to do this from a past relationship and I feel well-equipped to talk things out and resolve issues rationally.

So what do you do when issues have been explained, you have shown support for the other person's feelings, and you have even given them advice on how to better handle YOU and still.....nothing?

I know my SO is a good guy but when it comes to the brains dept...he is two tomatoes short of a tossed salad. It is so frustrating!! Sometimes i think our relationship is doomed but I really do care about him and I see how he tries in other areas. My talking just doesn't seem to sink in with him.

Advice?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:03 AM on Feb. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • Yup. Tell him exactly what you want. DO NOT OVERTHINK IT. HE won't follow your train of thought. IF you want help in the kitchen with something, SAY, I want you (say it slowly) to take the biscuits out of the oven....then give him a pot holder cuz he will not think of it.
    If you want flowers on valentines day you tell him I WANT FLOWERS EVERY SINGLE VALENTINES DAY. (or anniversary. whatever.) You have to tell him what you want. If he still doesn't do it, then address his passive aggressive negativity.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 1:39 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Well for starters, you are overestimating the male brain! He will likely never see things the same way you do. So give that up, or you will surely drive yourself mad. Men have an entirely different sense of logic. In a way, you almost have to give em a break for that and try a whole new approach.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 1:11 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Some books I suggest on the topic that have not just change my relationship but my life.
    "The 5 Love Languages", "The Husband Project 21 Days of Loving Your Man with a purpuse and a plan" and "The Love Dare".

    And if you don't mind me being so bold may I suggest you be grateful for what you do have? I have so many friends with trully crumby relationships and when I worry about the things (like the one you desribed although thanks to the books we're now past that) I am so thankful for my Husband.

    Like you said he's a good man and tries in other areas. Good luck.
    Happ-eToBme

    Answer by Happ-eToBme at 1:42 AM on Feb. 13, 2009