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2 Bumps

How to tell my neighbor... (long)

that ill be taking my child to school from now on, without letting the reasons why offend her or her pushing her kids on me?

around october, my kindergartner started walking with them in the mornings after my neighbor offered one day when we were having a conversation about what a pain in the ass it is for me to wake up my younger kids to get her to school on time. my neighbor's sister was already walking her younger kids (ages 8 and a pair of 7 year old twins) so she said mine could tag along as well. everything was going great. i had my child up and ready and out the door at 7:20, the time they wanted her over, so that they could walk and be at the school by 7:30 when the gates open for breakfast (class starts at 8)

well last night the neighbor caught me out in the street while i was trying to get my kids inside and there were like 30 other children running crazily saying she wants my kid there by 7:15 now cause her sister doesn't want to walk them anymore, so her & her mom will drive them to the crosswalk, walk with them to the gate and leave.

i felt very nervous and anxious this morning because there's no supervision before 7:30, so i called the mother around 7:25 and asked for the plan again since i couldn't focus on what she was saying last night, and she assured me that there was patrol there, but she couldn't stay with them at the gate because she had to get to work. so the kids waited with just the supervision of school patrol kids for about 5 minutes, which makes me very uncomfortable.

so from now on i just want to go back to taking her myself, so i know for sure that she gets safely into school. last night she also said "maybe you could volunteer to take them" and she kinda laughed it off but i have a feeling when i say ill take my own kid she'll suggest it. the thing is, i also have a 3 & 4 year old and i dont feel comfortable supervising 6 kids by myself. not to mention hers are kind of unruly, so yeah.

what would you say?

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tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 7:55 AM on Jan. 7, 2013 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,439 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I honestly wouldn't know what to say. When My kids walked to school I kind of had a good thing going. Although there was that one mom/son duo that was just to much to handle.

    Anyway, try being honest. Tell her leaving your child there are that time just makes you uncomfortable. I know you don't want to step on any toes, but you want to do what is best for your little one.

    Good luck
    4xsthetrouble

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 8:05 AM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • I'd just be honest: you're not comfortable with your child hanging around the school with no real adult supervision, even if it is only for 5 minutes. You have the right to be uncomfortable with that, even if she's not.

    If she asks you to take her kids, just politely decline. If polite doesn't work, then something like, "If you recall, you were taking her for me because it was rough for me to take her and my other kids. Don't you think adding yours to the mix might be even rougher?" Or, depending on how your hubby feels about being the bad guy and whether she'd get in his face, blame him. Say he doesn't want her to walk your daughter anymore and you're just going along with what he says.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:39 AM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • This is what I would say. "I am going to start taking her myself to school. Unfortunately I also have to drag along my 3 & 4 year old & this will not be easy for me with the three kids but to be totally honest I am having second thoughts about leaving my Oldest there in the care of someone who is already too busy anyway. God forbid. Thanks again for all your help! That's it short & sweet & you are being honest & telling her you already have the other two to watch & that's all you can handle. If she asks you to take her kids then say "Oh my, I really cannot handle 6 kids myself". Especially having to watch the younger ones with the street."

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 8:48 AM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • I like Paulies way of explaining. You are letting her know that she was a real help to you and you're regretting that you can't use her help anymore but you are not comfortable with the lack of supervision at the school so you will be taking her.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 9:29 AM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Thank her for the offer of the drive, but tell her you're new years resolution is to get more exercise, and you've decided to walk the kids yourself. IF they ask if theirs can walk to, then tell them, I'm really sorry, but I don't think I can handle 6 kids myself.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:50 AM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • I would just tell her that you've decided to take your daughter to school. Tell her it's going to be family time with all the girls together and you want to spend it that way.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:17 AM on Jan. 7, 2013

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