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2 Bumps

What's this lady's deal?

I need opinions on this awkward situation. Feel free to tell me I'm being ridiculous but please be nice as this actually really bothers me. (Background: Though I was in my 20s when my son was born, I've lived with my mother for almost his entire life, 3 years. I've always had a fulltime job, paid for whatever I could, I don't leave the responsibility of raising my son to my mother, and so on but she has helped me out a lot, and I've never been ungrateful. I finally saved up enough and we got our own place about 2 months ago.) So, there is a lady that attends our church that I feel speaks to me very condescendingly each time we encounter each other. My mother teachers Sunday school at this church and my son attends the private school there (my mother helps with the tuition). This lady teaches both Sunday school and at the private school (but not my son's teacher) so she knows my mother. They aren't close, just chat at church occasionally. The first time I ever met this lady was the day we signed my son up for the school, she was working the registration. My mother introduced me to her, and the lady replied "Nice to meet you. You're mom is such a nice lady helping you out like this, aren't you glad she's your right hand man?" Ok, awkward at my age but whatever. I don't know anything about this lady or what she knows about me. 2nd time we met was a couple months later while I was taking my son out for frozen yogurt and we ran into her. She said hi, and then told my son "Make sure you bring some home to Grandma, she deserves it after all she does". Again, awkward, but whatever. So we met again this morning as I dropped my son off at school. She said hi and then stated "Good job on moving out of your mom's house. That's a big step for you." in front of my son's classmates and their parents. Ok lady, WTF? It's obviously not the nastiest thing anyone could have said but it's like everytime we cross this lady she has something condescending to say about my life, never talks about anything other than the fact that I've lived with my mother, and it really bothers me. Plus, I feel like my business is now being aired out for all to know about. I already feel cruddy for having to rely on my mother as much as I have which is why this bothers me the way it does. I don't know what her intentions are, but I now loathe crossing paths with her for fear of what she'll say about my life next. Do you think that all this could be an innocent conversation maker, or is this lady just condescending?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Jan. 7, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Sounds like she's just being a bitch

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:24 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • chances are good that she is this way with everyone she bumps into
    she may just be passive agressive

    try to avoid her at all costs

    i do not think you are out of line to feel this lady is crossing aline, she is airing your business out in front of others, it is not her business, and not her business to say in front of others

    she has issues, what they are?? do not know, but it is her

    you could have a preparpared answer for her next time...or this might just make it more of an issue for you...she will most likley not get whatever you say to her

    i say she is passive aggressive and acts this way with everyone

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:35 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Basically she's just a BLABBER MOUTH. I'd tell my Mom not to tell anyone any personal information about you. She had to hear that you got your new place from what your Mom said to her or someone else who heard it. I would just avoid her. But, if she says something else embarrassing in front of the other Parents in the future, I would nicely walk up to her closely & say "I really appreciate your concern for my Son & I but it's embarrassing to us both when you mention personal things in front of others, so thank you for not doing it in the future. have a Great day! " Be nice & smile & show her you are a more classy & educated person than she thinks she is. After all your Son is going to the school & you don't want to look badly just because she is a nosey rosey.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 12:35 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • sounds all innocent but remember its your mother relaying all this info to her. Maybe tell your mother to stop talking to this lady about you

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:37 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Thank you all. And yes, I've mentioned it to my mother the first two times and will ask again that I am not brought up into any conversation between her and this lady, but she pretty much said I was being ridiculous and "taking it too personally" which is why I'm now seeking outside opinions since this is obviously becoming a trend. I just don't enjoy being talked to like I'm an immature child or one of those girls on that teen mom show. I'm a responsible adult and have always been my son's primary caregiver and now that I'm again out on my own the only thing my mother helps me with financially is the schools tuition, which isn't a ton (though I'm still grateful) because it's a part time preschool. Not to mention, I know plenty of young adults that still live at home but yes I know many probably don't have children there. So thank you, I'm going to chalk it up to this is just how this lady is. 


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:47 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Could be that she's done similar things for someone who is very ungrateful, and thus it is a sore spot for her. If I were you, I'd let it be except the next time she mentions it to you, be very profuse in your praise for your mom and all the help she's given you. That might help the situation. If it doesn't, that's still how I would respond to the lady every time she brings the subject up.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:02 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • I don't think you should get mad at this lady. You should get mad at your mom. Sounds like she is tell this lady more then you think about you.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:09 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • I believe that praising Mom after each confrontation is the best way to go...this lady may dump her attitude if she's getting the same response from you each time. But, she sounds like an instigator and may just want you to blow a cork in front of everyone, so, be careful, I think she wants to "get your goat"! It sounds like you have a lot of self control concerning this issue. Good job and good luck!

    Answer by bevylike at 2:16 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

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