Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Brothers?

okay so growing up my sisters and i are 4 years apart and 2 years apart.. so no one close in age.. so my son and my step son are 6 months apart.. and my younger one, is very co-dependant on the older one.. like if you say "do you want to eat" he will look at the older brother and wait until he answers or if you ask him anything he will wait until the other one answers before he answers.. my older one complains that he keeps following him or repeating everything that he says..

is this normal??

they are 6 and 5..

Answer Question
 
mampanda0422

Asked by mampanda0422 at 1:29 PM on Jan. 7, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 16 (2,395 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Don't know if it is normal. But If it was me asking the youngest a question. I would tell him to answer me. I would inform the oldest to not answer for him. I would tell they youngest when he looked at the oldest. "I was talking to you, not him, answer me".
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:32 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • i do that then he just stays quiet.. and doesn't answer.. or when we eat dinner, he wait for older brother to take the first bite so that he eats the same thing.. or if older brother asks for ketchup or whatever he wait until i put it away to ask for it...............
    mampanda0422

    Comment by mampanda0422 (original poster) at 1:34 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • I think it is. My nephews are a year and a half apart and the younger one never talked when h was little and the Dr said it was because the older was talking for him.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 1:35 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • The following around yes.
    The other no. If the ped doesn't find anything wrong with his then I would say to have the brother ignore the look when you are are you hungry, etc. And then ask again and tell him he must answer for himself. If he will not answer for himself then say something like. Ok then tell me when you are and walk away.
    I think it is possible that if the step brother is a fairly new addition, that your younger son is afraid of loosing the older ones attention and affection.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:38 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • My boys are 2.5 years apart and my youngest will do that. It doesn't help that the oldest bosses him around - though he loves to complain that his little brother won't leave him alone. lol

    I'd say it's pretty normal. I just tell my youngest "Don't worry about what your brother thinks/says/does. You're allowed to have your own opinions and thoughts, and they don't have to match your brother's, mine, or anyone else's."
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 1:39 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • My oldest and my youngest are 4 years apart and this sounds like my household.

    Although it may annoy your oldest, your youngest means no harm by it.

    My youngest will, on just about every occasion, side with my oldest.

    Take your youngest aside when asking him questions. Away from the oldest. Tell him it;s okay to have an opinion.
    4xsthetrouble

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 1:54 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • No, not normal. My brother and one of my stepbrothers are 8 months apart, they never did that. My 2nd and 3rd are 18 months apart and they don't do that either. I would spend some time with just the 5 yo and try to boost his confidence. Put them on separate sports teams, boy scout troops, etc
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:22 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • kids copy each other, age and gender has nothing to do with it
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 3:24 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Seems more like idolization of older by younger. My kids are 9 (boy) and 5 (girl). My daughter wants to do EVERYTHING her brother does.

    It's a sibling dynamic I don't fully understand, being an only child. My husband, the 5th of 6 kids, says it's 100% normal.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 4:21 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Yes, totally normal. It will go away as the youngest makes friends at school and realizes his world is bigger than his older brother. You can help it along by having times when the older gets to choose things, like a dvd to watch or whats for dessert, and the whole family goes along with it, and other times, the younger brother gets to choose. Tell the older he is not to say anything then. Its totally the youngers say so. If the older says anything or tries to boss, he has to be excluded from it. Show the younger that his opinions matter, and the family cares about what he wants to do too. He will out grow it.
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 6:17 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.