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3 kids and pregnant and my hubby thinks i am lazy?

Hi
i am 20 years old and i have a 4 yers old girl, 2 years old boy and a eleven month baby girl and i am pregnant again my due will be in 12 March.
My 4 yrs old go to daycare but i stay with the other 2 and its hard on me have to clean the house, make food, feed the kids, and ironing everybody clothes... and sometimes i am so tired that i end up not doing something... and i stay at home all day, while my hubby goes to work, when he comes home, he wants to eat sleep and do whatever he wants.

If he comes home and i didnt made something or i am late for dinner, he tells me why i am late if i stay at home all day, he evens complains that the"only" thing i have to do is to clean and take care of the kids.. i dont think he knows how hard it is... i woke up to prepare his breakfast and he wokes up early.. so i dont even sleep much... what can i do? i am lazy for not having time to do everything in the house? i try to explain to him that is not that easy but he think im just making a drama! gosh !

Answer Question
 
betinha

Asked by betinha at 2:47 PM on Jan. 7, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 9 (356 Credits)
Answers (39)
  • Save some energy and stop making his breakfast.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Make a list of everything you do during the day with time. I'd start it at midnight and go until midnight because not only do you have the day but you have the night shift I'm sure. Then ask him to fill in the same for his day.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 2:54 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • I would leave him with the 3 kids and take off for the day
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:55 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • QuinnMae
    If i stop preparing his breakfast, it will be another fight over it..so that not really the solution i want.
    betinha

    Comment by betinha (original poster) at 2:56 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Baconbits
    I try to make my a list but isnt that easy, because i always end up leaving something to do another day.. problem is when he comes home he wants some attention as well.. so
    betinha

    Comment by betinha (original poster) at 2:58 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • LostSoul88
    that's impossible to do,because he doesnt know how to change diapers... i dont really trust him taking care of kids, he would end up sleeping and kids will be by themselfs.. anyway
    betinha

    Comment by betinha (original poster) at 2:59 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • 4 kids at 20/21? That is just plain foolish. I am pretty sure you know how to prevent this and though it sounds harsh it is not, it is reality.
    Yes he needs to help when he gets home but the job of a SAHM is to clean the house and care for the kids. I would never say a SAHM is lazy9unless I see myself) but I do think you are uneducated and that is your biggest problem. You do not want to be pregnant and care for the kids? Get a job and pay for daycare and stop having kids.
    What do I think my husband should do in his at time hours? Kiss me an say hello. Play a bit with the kids while I finish the last bit of the supper, or watch TV with them. ( I now have only 1 DGS at home with me) Eat dinner and talk to me and the kids. Take his plate to the kitchen. Any one over the age of 4 has to do this in my house. Watch tv/ play with the dogs/ play a game relax. Before shut down take the dogs out as well as the trash.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:01 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Well, if you are not lazy and he gets away with calling you that, then what exactly is your question? We can give you all of the validation you need here that raising kids isn't always easy or clean, but he clearly has an idea of how he thinks your job is to be done and how you aren't meeting his expectations. Perhaps you should raise his bar and let him know how he isn't the ideal husband or father. Either way, it looks like you are in for a fight unless you just sit back and take it. JMO.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 3:02 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • Put his clothes in the laundry basket as he takes them off. I expect him to put a new roll on the toilet roll spindle and put away his book as needed. If I have something large I expect him to help me with it when he has the time and energy. I care for the rest.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:03 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

  • First of all, i dont people do judge for being 20 and having 3 kids and being pregnant..
    I had a few issues in my life and my 3 kids are from the same dad, i got married early so that wasn't my choice having or not kid in that marriage, i just had to had them and that is it. an di wound trade them for anything else in the world. yeah i do agree that i should take care more of myself instead of getting pregnant again.. but that was something me and my hubby wanted so.Before i got pregnant this time, everything was hard but not that difficult because i could manage.. but again i am young and i am sure somethings arent that perfect! my 2 youngest they still wake up in the middle of the night, so i stay really tired. and besides all that, being pregnant makes me more tired and i cant do everyhting that i used to do. i cant just go to school and leave the kids... we dont have money to spend on day care for all of them!
    betinha

    Comment by betinha (original poster) at 3:09 PM on Jan. 7, 2013

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