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Why are biological parents praised for placing child up for adoption, but for unforeseeable circumstances the adoptive parents replace child for adoption, they are very badly frowned upon?

Why are biological parents praised for placing child up for adoption, but for unforeseeable circumstances the adoptive parents replace child up for adoption, they are very badly frowned upon?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Jan. 7, 2013 in Adoption

Answers (22)
  • Wow. I think you should read through all the other questions.

    Answer by escuchar at 12:51 PM on Apr. 14, 2014

  • by the way, I have three "medically complex" children... two are my biological children and I didn't get a heads up on that tidbit of info before it was consuming and defining my life either, but there is no return policy on children. I know it's hard, but IMHO that's what parenting is. If people can't accept the possibility that it's going to be very VERY hard then they maybe shouldn't be parents given that your kid is going to need you whether they are easy or not. What if a healthy child gets into an accident and needs to be fed, cathed, and PICed every half hour? Do you get to send them back too? Sorry, this really hits me in a sensitive spot. I don't mean to be mean but how do these poor children feel when someone has to tell them "op, just kidding, when we said we'd love you and care for you and be there forever, we meant as long as it is convenient. You're definitely not worth the effort you require". Holy butts :-( :-(

    Answer by ashleyaction at 9:56 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • We are talking about adoption, correct? Not foster care - because that is entirely different!!!

    Answer by ashleyaction at 9:50 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • If you give a child up from your own arms because you cannot care for them it is with the hope that someone will give them the stability and consistency you don't think you can. If you agree to be a parent by adopting a child you can' t take that back, that changes their experience from being transferred into a loving home into being twice rejected. I don't care what comes up, if you chose to be a parent it is not a choice you can take back the love is unconditional. Good lord, I praise the child not the stupid parents that chose not to take care of him whether they were biological or adoptive. I'm not shaming people who give their children up, everyone has their reasons and I find many of them valid ASSUMING THEY ARE PLACING THESE CHILDREN IN LOVING HOMES WHERE THEY WILL BE CARED FOR CONSISTENTLY. How are people supposed to even consider releasing children for adoption when this happens? If you want a trial period get a puppy

    Answer by ashleyaction at 9:49 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • Because children should not be returned as an item, because when you commit to an adoption it should be for life.....Just as you would if you decide to keep your own....

    Answer by older at 6:16 PM on Apr. 16, 2013

  • i think its because you getting a blessing that you cant have naturally so be in it 100 percent when adopting its hard work raising young
    ones giving it back or putting up for adoption you wherent ready to have a family and just confuses the child more

    Answer by sorebutt at 4:33 AM on Jan. 29, 2013

  • You really don't have a clue what you are talking about! first, I've said that I was referring to children adopted internationally or medically complex children being replaced for adoption. I really have no idea who you think you spoke with, if you even did, as even talks about their part in rehoming children on their website! Plus, why would I post a question when I posted this unanimous then post another question? This was just a question for others opinions, no reason to get so rude, no one else was being rude!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:17 PM on Jan. 9, 2013

  • I'd like to place at least some of the blame on the facilators of the adoption.
    Do they always make sure it's a positive match for the child and ap's? Do they always inform a pap with complete and accurate background of the child? Sometimes it can be a train wreck for a child and ap's if the agency rushes (and withholds info) into adoption.

    Now for the lady I personally know that re-gifted 2 teen age interacial adoptees when they were too old to be cute, and dress up like Barbie dolls, and feed her need to be praised for saving them? She can rot in h e double L.

    Ps. Frog, OT, but I'll ask. Are adoption lawyers trained, tested, licenced, anything ~ in child welfare? They know law, but social work?

    Answer by adopteeme at 12:41 PM on Jan. 9, 2013

  • Obviously you didn't call the correct place or get the correct person... They even have a section on their website on re-homing children here:

    To families seeking to re-home a child: CHASK should be considered a “last resort” avenue for finding a new adoptive home for a previously adopted child. Adoptive family’s seeking to re-home a child may not ask for reimbursement of any previous adoption costs, if that potential adoptive contact has come from the CHASK web site.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:14 PM on Jan. 8, 2013

  • an adoptive parent is always counseled on the ifs and and buts unless they do a private adopton. AND adptive parents are certianly NOT kept from the news so you cant tell me that although they may be led to belive a child is healthy and it is not that they did not somehow know deep down that ANYTHING Is possible SO If you are goin to adopt do it with eyes wide open and dont screw up a childs life any further by turning them away because life threw you a curve when you adopted.

    this is from a mom who was adopted, placed a child and then adopted so I am def not uneducated about this cycle.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Jan. 8, 2013

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