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What should i do?

I just foung out that my 15 yo had sex for the first time with her bf. She told me after i ask her about it. I have been with my dh now for 14 yrs and he has been inher life since she was 13 mos old. She has begged me not to tell my dh, but i feel as if i dont tell him i am hiding something from him, also she doesnt want me to tell her daddy(which is ok with me). My dh and i have had the talk with her several times over the yrs, but she still chose to make the decision to have sex. She only had sex once and then a month later they broke up. I feel like the reason she doesnt want my dh to know is because she thinks he will be disappointed in her, cause she cares what he thinks about her. What i'm asking is, should i tell my dh or not? Because i dont want him to think i keep things from him involving our kids. He has practially raised her and thinks of her as his.

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Asked by busymom_38001 at 7:33 AM on Feb. 13, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • I know that I would tell my DH. No question's asked. BUT I have no advice on how to approach the situation. Good luck to you though!

    Answer by ZaTa at 7:42 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Yes, I would tell him. I wouldn't know how to go about it either sorry. I would get your DD on BC if you have not already. I'm sure things will work out.

    Answer by Christine0813 at 8:02 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I would only tell him if you are sure he will keep it just between you two. I feel that if you do tell him your DD won't come to you in the future with anything confidential.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:02 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Yes, most definately, but also tell him her feelings about not wanting to disappoint him.

    We all know they are going to do it sooner or later, no matter how much you talk about it, it's their decision when the time comes. If she isn't already on birth control, make sure you take a trip to the doctor or health dept.

    Sure as her dad he is going to feel disappointed, but if you handle it well now, she won't be afraid to talk to you about things later.

    Answer by mycrazzylife at 10:03 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • he should know and her father, tell them to not mention this to her if she ask you to keep her between you to atleast let her think that you have and tell her eventually they need to know just prepare them, some things we just should not keep to urselfs and this is one of them, she will undersatnd and appreciate her fathers concerns, this will atcually help you as a family deal with futher boy-friends, good luck and pls preach safe sex (sure u r).

    Answer by mememommie at 10:34 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I feel your relationship with your dd is just as important as your relationship with your dh. I feel you should respect your dd and not tell your dh. She has told you because she trusts you, and right now in her life she needs to be able to come to you with things and know that you can be trusted.

    Answer by robinann5 at 2:18 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • I think you should tell him. He's your husband and if you feel uncomfortable keeping it from him, you should.... he should probably know regardless. Maybe just let him know it's between the two of you. She is a child and she doesn't know what is best for her. Of course she is not going to want him to know. But it's you that has to make that adult decision.

    Answer by emilyschildcare at 4:12 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

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