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What's the most important thing you've learned from being a mom?

I can travel outside my comfort zone even if I don't enjoy it, and I can be adequate even when I don't believe I am.


Asked by Ballad at 4:44 PM on Jan. 10, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • Sleep, while enjoyable, isn't really necessary.
    Keep the toilet closed.
    Fix it first, panic later.
    The wrath of God is a cakewalk compared to a napless toddler.

    Answer by hootie826 at 5:01 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • That I can handle so much more than I ever thought possible, & that absolutely every moment can have value.

    Answer by KA91 at 5:35 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • I learned that being a parent isn't about me, it's totally about them...

    Answer by Nimue930 at 6:29 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • I have to love myself well (extending compassion & unconditional acceptance to myself) if I hope to be consistently & unconditionally loving to my children. And I've learned that taking care of my "unfinished business" (that inevitably comes up while parenting) and "raising myself" emotionally is key, because you can't give/provide/model what you don't have, particularly where emotional regulation is concerned.

    I never knew that parenting would be so beneficial in this way--that it would be so key to my growth by providing a mirror and prompting healing & maturing.

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:09 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • Reading louise2's comment reminds me of something I read by Naomi Aldort: My son "taught me, among other things, that no matter how loving and great a mother I may be, the child makes up his own movie of his childhood and this is the only childhood he has."

    The beautiful thing about this is if you can hear the child and validate him/her, taking him/her seriously instead of engaging his/her perceptions (or "movie") as true/fair or not, then you have the opportunity to heal & connect!

    I have thought about this a lot when I realize that despite me doing my best, my kids may be mad at me someday & may even have some serious grievances. Not to mention problems or issues for which they may blame me.

    But what "works" now works then: empathy, validation, acceptance, hearing them, taking them seriously, honesty, self-compassion, non-defensiveness. It may be painful, but possible to do THEN what I couldn't manage well enough earlier.

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:22 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • Having two teens and two tweens I have discovered that my kids will not always like me and that's okay. I'm not here to be their friend, if they don't like what I have to say to them, then too bad. They'll figure out eventually that I do actually know what I'm talking about.

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 8:00 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • how to let things go. im a very controlling person, but you cant control babies. and the more you try to control a toddler or preschooler the more they fight. being a laid back parent makes life a lot more pleasant for all of us haha.

    Answer by okmanders at 9:13 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • pay attion to your kids there will tell you everything you need to know

    Answer by roxi1591 at 4:47 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • You really need to have a sense of humor, and I had no idea how much patience you need to be a mom

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 4:51 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • Absolutely Ballad.. me too. If you are embarrassed by anything, you won't be after having children! LOL!

    Answer by m-avi at 4:59 PM on Jan. 10, 2013