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Would you want dna proof that your son was the father ?

I hate hate hate when guys ask is it mine , so I feel like a shit head but if you have a less than responsible son and a similar girl . And they tell you they had a baby ( keeping the whole thing secret and son didn't even know she was pregnant ) Would you have some doubt ? I want to be supportive but I do not want to fall in love with a child and then have it rippped from my life at a later date !
I hate as a woman questioning another woman but I am a mom too! What do you think ladies ?

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gitanomadre

Asked by gitanomadre at 10:55 AM on Feb. 13, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (49)
  • i think i would feel the same way. i know it's wrong but you see girls all the time say the baby belongs to a boy and then it turns out she was wrong.
    mamaNrubenBFF

    Answer by mamaNrubenBFF at 10:59 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • It depends how old your son is. If he is 18+ then I would talk with him and see if he has any doubt that it is his. If he does, then I would encourage him to pursue a test.
    kboney29

    Answer by kboney29 at 11:02 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • He says he is sure but the thing is when he is ( in love ) he loses himself in that person entirely ! I find it just a little disturbing that she didn't tell him it was his until she had him .
    gitanomadre

    Answer by gitanomadre at 11:08 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I totally understand how you feel. This is my opinion, your son is an adult now, treat him like it. Meaning, sit him down and express openly, honestly and respectfully how you feel about the whole situation. If you aren't helping to support this baby, then it's time you "step off". I mean this with NO disrespect. One of the hardest things for a Mom is to be a Mom of an adult child. Sometimes as a Mom you lead and sometimes you follow. Now is the time you follow. All you can do is express how you feel and then follow. If he unwisely refuses to get a DNA for his own protection, you can't force it. Unless you do so secretly behind your sons back, but then how does that help the situation?!! You just have to support his decision, no matter what it is, and love the child anyway. Think of it this way, if the precious baby isn't your Grandbaby biologically, think of the love seeds you have planted into his/her life!!

    blessed5x

    Answer by blessed5x at 11:10 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I would ask for a test. All you need is a swab of the mouth and you can get it done for only $150.00 so it is worth it to know the truth for sure!
    MommyMel03

    Answer by MommyMel03 at 11:12 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • If it was me I would get a test sorry!
    Soriano

    Answer by Soriano at 11:14 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • to me it is not even a question of loving or accepting child and mother but I feel in my gut every child has a right to know for sure !!
    gitanomadre

    Answer by gitanomadre at 11:19 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • These answers confuse me, are we talking about an ADULT child here? You can not control what your ADULT child does!! If he refuses, you suggest going behind your adult childs back to get tests. That will ruin your relationship with your child. He is an adult, it is his decision to DNA or not, you just have to support that decision wheather you agree or disagree. He's a man now. He must make his own choices in life and reap whatever he sows.
    blessed5x

    Answer by blessed5x at 11:23 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I'll do this anoymously cause the previous poster is getting a lil hostile.
    I didn't see where any posters said they would force any testing.

    I would do my best to counsel the couple to find the truth, and move on from there.
    But I would try to explain to the girlfriend that such a test is in everyone's best interest and in no way an attack upon her. We all make mistakes.
    I've seen this in my own family and I still hear doubtful whispers about one cousin who might not be a cousin. I really like him but he looks Nothing like any of us and too much like his mom's ex. His parents were both in their 30's. It might be difficult if he ever found out. So it is better to find out right away instead of trying to cover the doubt. The truth is best even if it hurts. And if the test comes out that he's not and they still love each other then ok.
    It takes more than dna to be a good mom and dad. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • First of all Blessed5x I apreciate your input but I really don't see the need to critize the other posters this is a discussion ,
    To anonymous You bring up a great point I had not thought of I know there are members of our family who lack class I would hate for this child ( wether he is biologically mine or not ) to ever over hear a whisper like that . or for him to live in uncertanty
    I will not go behind their back but I do hope that they will seek assurance
    If this girl is to be in my sons life I will accept her and her son I do let my son as an adult make his own choices I openly communicate with him, but he makes his own decisions
    I also told the young lady that I meant know offence but that I really did want to be sure She seemed to understand but did not commit to a test
    gitanomadre

    Answer by gitanomadre at 11:56 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

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