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8 Bumps

What would you honestly do! Abortion related.

Background:
You're a fairl attractive 29 yr old single mom to a 4 yr boy. You've graduated college, have a bachelors degree and an ok steady job.

8 mons ago you started dating joe, who has 3 kids of his own. Recently you find out you're pregnant and joe doesn't want a kid right now. His reasoning is he doesn't want to start a relationship like this. He wants to move slow and get married. He already has 3 little ones and not finacially ready for another. ( he's in school for an advanced degree)

He wants you to have an abortion and plan kids in a year or 2 when the relationship is more steady. You don't want an abortion because the act of doing it is horrible. You both are not ready, but you can do it alone if you have to. He tells you if you keep the baby he will only be there financially and is gone but if you abort it he will be there and will feel the relationship is being forced because of the baby.

You're scared to be a single mom of two! Both will have separate fathers who are both not in either kids lives. You're scared to be judge Nd humiliated. But most scare of doing it all Alone.

Ladies, I need help!
Advice
Words of wisdom!

I have the appt for the abortiin scheduled next week and I don't want to do it.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:38 PM on Jan. 10, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (41)
  • I can't answer for you, because I would want the abortion. I don't think it's horrible to terminate a pregnancy, I don't want to force a relationship with someone I just met, and I don't want to have another kid without the support of a partner to help raise him or her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • DON'T DO IT!
    That guy wants you to kill the baby because it's inconvenient?! Pardon my French,but fuck that!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:41 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • I and totally pro-choice, and I don't think anyone should ever have an abortion they don't want. If you don't want to have the abortion and do, you will regret it. I also do not like the idea of a guy who would casually make you abort when you don't want to, but plans to have children later. I'm sorry, but he sounds like a complete dickbag. I wouldn't want to be with someone who threatened to leave me if I didn't do what he wanted me to do.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 8:41 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • If you don't want to do it, then don't do it! If I read what you wrote correctly, he's basically told you if you have the baby, he'll leave you and only pay child support, and if you have an abortion, he'll stay but only because he feels he has to. That tells me either way you're better off without him, so keep the baby, dump the loser and get on with your life. You know you can do it alone, so do it! It won't be easy, but I imagine it'll be easier than trying to live with yourself after having an abortion you didn't want to have in the first place.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:41 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • This is an extremely personal decision but don't rule out adoption or open adoption as you look through your options.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:42 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • have the abortion
    dump joe, he already has 3 kids. that's no good. 3 kids is damaged goods. he will be spread too thin if he is financially responsible for 3 plus kids.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 8:43 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • Honestly this is a decision that you have to make and it doesn't matter what any one else thinks. I know it's hard and you need to talk to someone about it, but ultimately we can't make that decision for you. I do wish you luck though.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 8:43 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • I would not stay with Joe. If he knew he was not ready to be a father again he should have used the proper birth control to make sure this did not happen so soon.
    Many women have had children with no fathers in their lives and thru the struggles have successfully raised their children.
    You can do it too.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:44 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • I would say any man who gives me an ultimatum wouldn't last. As for the child do what you feel is best for you. You do not have to keep or abort this child there is adoption. I'm going to guess you guys weren't using protection? If so and he wasn't ready he should have took better steps to prevent a pregnacy. Don't let a man force you into something you don't want to do.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 8:48 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

  • You say you feel having an abortion is horrible. This is YOUR feeling on the subject not mine. I would dump the bum who wants all the perks of a sexal relationship but none of the responsibility. I understand that you may feel you cannot raise2 alone even with financial help (CS) That does not mean you have to abort. You can give the baby up for adoption as well.
    What would you do if you two had broken up before you discovered you were pregnant?
    I am sorry you are in this situation with this decision to make. You have to look deep inside yourself and see if you can live with the abortion and make your decision.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 8:50 PM on Jan. 10, 2013

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