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how do u tell ur mother to back off when it comes to ur kid???

hi guys first post for me .i have a 12 yr old and everytime he gets into trouble he runs to his nana are she is always there sayin thats nuttin. Everytime we get in to him she says that we shouldnt be so hard on him and she hates the fact that my husband his step dad gets invloved she sent home some black lite posters at one time and included was one of a pot leaf now red flag rt to me no it wasnt a big deal at the time but the more i thought about it became a big deal and caused such a hassle at my house with my hubby.My mom hates him because she thinks he is such an ass he can be what man aint lol.but how do u go about tellin ur mom to back off my son spends time with her on the weekends and when he does u can completely see how she lets him do whatever he wishes and it is so hard to get him back in rotuine at home.she is on the WILD SIDE as well if u know what i what do i do .Help!!

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Asked by Dixiemomchick at 11:03 AM on Feb. 13, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Maybe he just feels more love from her than you because you punish him for the "bad" things he does. Why not try to talk through the issues he gets into trouble for - see his side of the story and ask him

    I would talk to my mother also if she was going against your wishes - she needs to respect you as a parent when it comes to your children.

    Answer by keyaziz at 12:09 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • i am in a kinda similar situation i finally had to tell my folks that 1) he is my husband and i love him so back off and stop talking smack a/b him! and 2) if you are going to be invovled in MY childs life you must go by MY rules. if there is something she is doing you just have to tell them like it is.after all they had there chance they raised they need to respect you and have faith and trust that they raised you right and that you will raise your children right. after all if you don't tell them they will never know and then one day you are just going to snap at them and they wont know where it came from. i hope this helps and good luck with the situation!

    Answer by sandraberke at 2:30 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Don' let hem spend time at his grandmothers house without you there. Tell her if she doesn't respect your parenting style, then this is what your going to do. That'll teach the old bat.

    Answer by staceynoel at 3:03 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • To a certain degree I agree with staceynoel. I would simply explain to your mother how you are feeling and warn her that if she doesn't respect your wishes then your son is going to spend less time with her. However this will probably anger your son and he will then of course side with "the old bat" (lol). But your the parent and the hard part about that is that you have to be the disciplinarian before the friend.

    Answer by JenniferZiemba at 6:43 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I did tell my mom to back off. In that many words too. She listened amazingly. Had she not listened she would have jeopardized having a relationship with her grandkids.

    Answer by ColleenF30 at 4:34 AM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • Reel him in girlfriend! Time to get involved with him on weekends and make the visits to Nana's short and supervised. I would do that because you may still be able to get him under your influence and out from under hers. Make sure your husband is in agreement with this. I would get his opinion and then decide for yourself. Then stick to it. Unless you want a wild side teen, you will have to limit her influence. You can't say back off when he's spending that time with her. It might be late but better than never.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 7:50 PM on Feb. 14, 2009

  • If you cannot respect my rules and wishes as my child's parent, you do not spend time with my child... especially unattented.

    Sadly, mama.... you're ALLOWING her to do these things by giving her unfettered access to your child. Set some boundaries and stick to them.

    Answer by catwalksymphony at 4:12 PM on Feb. 15, 2009

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