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How important is it?

Do you think it's important for children to have a father in their lives? If not a father, at least a male role model? And if so, are there certain ages and stages of a childs life that it is more important than others?


Asked by WishyClarkson at 11:11 AM on Feb. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (5)
  • I think that in many ways, the father's influence is more important than the mom's. My children are now grown, and I have been amazed to see this fact come to light. A daughter gets from her dad her idea of what a husband and father should be like. She learns from him how a woman should be treated. A son learns from his father how a man should behave and how he should treat a woman. These are very key elements to the survival of the home and family. I stayed home with our children, and it was I who consciously taught them how to behave. Yet, I have discovered that in every way, they are much more like their dad than they are like me. He worked very long hours and was not with them nearly as much as I was, and most of his teaching was by example and not by words. They are all absolutely foolish over him, and he was much more stern with them than was I. So yes, I think every child needs a dad.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:21 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I'd rather a positive male role model than a raggedy one. So if I had a no good man I would not keep him around just so my child could have a "father". It makes no sense to me...when women have dead beat husbands and keep them just because it's the child's father. It does more harm than good.

    Other than that I do think it's important for children to have their fathers in their lives.

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 11:20 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • when i thought my x was just gonna have nothing to do with our dd age 5 i talked to my b/f to see if it was ok if her b/f who she has been with forever could help me when it comes to needing a male point for dd he has been around my dd since she was 8 months. she oked it and i talked to. dd liked to fish and i dont so he said he would take her or tell her boys are pigs lol. in the end her dad is around but my bestfriends b/f is still in dd's life and they love her and are there for her when she needs them. like a 2nd set of parents. i did leave dd's dad. and i am married to a man who loves dd as his own. but i was worried dd wouldnt have somewere to turn.

    Answer by tabbys4 at 11:25 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I do believe a male role model is important. I was single for the first 3 years of my sons life so I made sure he spent time with his uncles. Now I've been with SO for 5 years and they have such a good relationship. In fact, he minds him more then me! Of course I agree with not staying with a deadbeat just so the child will have a father. But IMO and that's just what it is, my opinion, a child should have a positive male role model. I'm not saying it can't be done. My mom raised me as a single parent and I think she did a good job on her own.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I agree that a positive male role model is important for children. However for exactly the reasons NannyB. pointed out, it is better to have no father than one who teaches boys to treat women terribly and girls that men rule their every move.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 12:12 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

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