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Seriously concerned about my friend

She wants a homebirth but is a really horrible candidate so she found an insane midwife that thinks everybody is better with a homebirth. My friend is 300lbs with hypertension that she has had since before the pregnancy,she has had 2 miscarriages and struggles with PCOS. It isn't even technically legal for a homebirth midwife to take my friend on as a patient in my state but since I'm in a licensing optional state I don't even know who I'd report it to.

I guess I just rush to finish my EMT so I can attend the birth with my jump bag so I can start an IV of fluids at least if she starts to bleed out and find out what it would take to get nitroglycerine pills.

How would you try to explain that you think it's a bad idea especially after the midwife has gone all wacko? Anybody know how to report a wacko midwife? If I do just have to sit and be prepared to use my training would you recommend showing up monitoring the whole pregnancy for eclampsia or just watching the delivery?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Jan. 11, 2013 in Pregnancy

Answers (6)
  • Normally you would report medical malpractice to the Health Services board in your community, but if she isn't licensed I am not sure, but maybe they would know. All you can do is keep talking to her about the risks of a homebirth especially with her particular status. If she won't listen there isn't much you are going to do. Do you know why she is so set on a homebirth understanding that might help you convince her to at least entertain the possibility of a hospital birth.

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 8:12 PM on Jan. 11, 2013

  • I would find out why she's so determined, like amandajoy said. Knowing why she wants it will help you come up with the appropriate reasons why she should reconsider.

    As far as reporting it, maybe you could call your own OB-GYN and explain the circumstances and ask them if they can tell you how you would go about it. I would think they would know. If not, call the licensing board. Even if she isn't licensed/required to be licensed, I imagine they would still be able to tell you what to do in this situation.

    Good luck! I hope you can talk her out of it, or at least help her stay safe.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:32 PM on Jan. 11, 2013

  • I would use simple words that she cannot misunderstand:

    "Yours is a high risk pregnancy due to your weight and blood pressure. If there is not a medical team present at birth you and your baby can die. You also risk being disabled and being unable to take care of your baby. Is that what you want?"

    Answer by winterglow at 4:12 AM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Just explain to her that considering her current health situation that it would be unwise and even potentially dangerous to both her and her unborn child. Just be up front and honest to her about what could happen and that you are honestly concerned for both their lives. Hopefully she'll see the reason if you explain to her everything concerning her current health situation could land her into some serious issues if she doesn't deliver in a hospital setting. I'm normally all for a woman birthing how she wants but in this case, it's the mother's life and baby's life at risk if she listens to the midwife. Heck, any other midwife would NOT take her on, which really makes this one sound a bit crazy. If need be, call a local doctor's office and talk to them to see if they can give you any advice about getting a hold of someone. If there's any reason to be concerned that the lady is not licensed, might report her to the police even.

    Answer by raye-chan at 5:25 AM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • When I've talked to her in the past it seems like she's scared of a c-section and between her midwife and The Business of Being Born she's sure she's getting one. She doesn't like medication,she hates taking anything stronger then Tylonal and it seems like her racial background of Japanese Hawaiian(raised in Japan) does really want a more natural experience with her Japanese side wanting as little people bothered as possible.

    I also found out that she hasn't quite quit smoking yet so this has reached too high a level of placental abruption risk personally.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:31 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • I gained 110 lbs. when I got pregnant with my first son. 220 lbs. when he was born. They induced me because I carried him a month over my due date. I ended up with an emergency C-section because we both could have died had I not had the C-section. My son was in fetal stress as the umbilicol cord was wrapped twice around his neck. Most people would prefer a C-section over a natural birth because you are numbed from the chest down so you don't feel a thing, your bladder doesn't get pushed down so that you have accidents as you get older from the pushing, and the baby's head is perfect as it doesn't get smashed coming through the birth canal. I'm not saying that all women should do this, I am just saying that it does have it's pluses and would be safer and more desired in her case. I've had 5 C-sections, and have no regrets of any of them. My daughter ended up having a C-section to after 37 hours in hard labor.

    Answer by Sierrarose99 at 10:02 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

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