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Was she being bullied, or harmlessly picked on?

okay so call me lame, but, lately my daughter has been wanting me to pack her lunches instead of eating the free lunch at school (kindergarten) so ive been doing it 2-3 times a week. i also included little notes in her lunchbox. one day i wrote "have a nice day!" with a smiley face instead of "i love you" and she said her friends laughed at her. i said well maybe they were laughing because they liked the letter? and she said no, they were making fun of the note because it wasn't a "lovey" note or whatever. she said she put her head down and everything and almost cried because she felt bad for me, like they were making fun of me. i told her i didn't have to write the letters if she didn't like them, but she said she did, but only wants me to write stuff with love in the letters. so, i said okay, i'll do my best but also reminded her that it's only important if she likes the letters and it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. nevertheless i felt bad for her and that her friends hurt her feelings. is this a form of bullying already, in kindergarten? children making fun of other children for getting notes in their lunchboxes? granted i wasn't there so i can't say what their intents were, but she felt really awful about the whole thing.

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tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 2:07 PM on Jan. 12, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • i should add, while most of the time she's silly & has a great sense of humor, she can also be very sensitive and take things the wrong way sometimes. so it could very well be that her friends weren't making fun of her, but she interpreted it that way.
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 2:10 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • I don't think it is bullying. I just think this is a sensitive age for kids. My son(K also) gets embarrassed about things and ihave to give him a kiss at home before we get to school so the kids don't see.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 2:11 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • If it was a one time thing (which it sounds like it was and won't be addressed again), then I don't think it was bullying. If the kids continue to harass her about the notes, then that would approach bullying to me.
    btw - my kids are in middle school and I still stick "good luck" notes and such in their books, notebooks, etc. They are very careful not to let their friends see them, and they act all embarrassed, but recently my dd didn't get one on a test day and she asked why it wasn't there :)
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Kids are generally not the nicest creatures. I don't see this as bullying at all. Normal kid behavior.
    put what she wants you to on the notes- or skip them entirely.
    kids pick on each other for all kinds of things- that's life
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 2:14 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • @cassie- i remember during open house she would not hold my hand as we walked through the halls- lol!
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 2:16 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Is it horrible that I think your next note should say 'Your friends are ass holes'.?
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 2:26 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Yes there is bullying in kindergarten. As for if this qualifies - see if it comes up again.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 2:30 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • It sounds like they are picking on her like she's a baby for getting the notes or is being babied. That sounds like normal kid behavior. My DD is excited to see me everyday when I pick her up from Kindergarten but, she will not allow me to hug her (probably because she doesn't want to look babyish in front of her friends). They are all trying to become more independent, which is hard because all of the older kids in school do consider them to be babies. So, they feel the need for a tough front.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 2:36 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Truly you can't let this "bullying" thing get to where no child is allowed to laugh, poke fun, or even have harmless fun. Kids are going to be kids. Are we seriously going to take away every little bit of fun they have in their lives? This is far from bullying.... it's children being children. If you don't teach your child now how to handle being poked fun of, laughed at,, etc.... how is she/he ever going to deal with life as an adult? OKAY and this leads me to THIS IS WHY THESE children go off on others when they get older..... They don't know how to deal with it.... Please teach your child how to toughen up... not run with "bullying" every time something comes up.

    That being said, yes, there are some true, legit bullying out there, but don't let it become the next race card.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 3:01 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Quinnmae- LOL!
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 3:09 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

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