Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

7 Bumps

Any shy & socially awkward moms out there?

I'm 28, never got over my shyness. I'm a mom and this is a big problem for me now. I know people will say stop being and socialize but it's not easy. I really struggle with this!

The straw today with myself is.... We were at a birthday party yesterday with my 6yr old. The kids were in the activity room and all the adults are sitting at a foyer. After 10 mins I got so uncomfortable and went to my car. I Sst there because I feel I'd b embarrassed if I went back in. I later went in to get dd at the end time.

How do you cope?

I try to be more social but it's hard. I have one friend, who is trying to break me from that. I hate it!
I was a shy child then teen years wasn't shy and built confidence .. After college n having dd I was a stay at home mom. I felt like a recluse! We moved to a remote area in another state. So I never really saw or interacted with people unless I was at a store. It's gotten worse now. I'm even shy near family I grew up with!

I thing I'm happy about is that dd doesn't see I'm shy! She asks me how come I'm never shy to talk to people !! It's usually small talk.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Jan. 12, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • That is SO sad! Just talk to the other mom's- they are just like you!!!
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 2:59 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Maybe sign up to volunteer at the school or something, where you have a task to focus on and any socialization will have to do with school / kids and things you are familiar and comfortable with. I'm not particularly good with a group of new people. I usually just sit back and observe to get the lay of the land before jumping into conversation.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 3:08 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Sounds like social anxiety to me.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:13 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • On CM we see our share of idiots. You don't sound (or type) like an idiot. You aren't going to say anything stupid.
    You've got to think of conversation starters. Small talk. The easiest is to stick to the weather. "So did you hear we're getting snow?" or "How are you all handling the heat?" The other people in the group will start the conversation rolling. Then just join in- "Yeah" , "I know", "Me too" . Eventually someone will pose another question that you can chime in about.
    If you're with other mom's you can all share about your kiddos landmarks and achievements. The school play, the crafts they brought home from school last week, the song she sang for you, the toys and games she's into. If it's a topic you don't understand, just listen. Don't walk away, or dis-engage completely (like you did in above scenario), just smile and nod. When topics turn to brain surgery, stay out of it. A topic for you will come around again!
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 3:15 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • I have major social anxiety and deal with this too. I am 35. I see a therapist for it. It's a tough road but I think it's totally something you can overcome. Just being here at CM is a great start :). Feel free to friend me (don't be scared I am incredibly sweet lol). We can chat about our failed attempts to socialize and maybe even laugh at ourselves on occasion :).
    1CopaceticMama

    Answer by 1CopaceticMama at 3:39 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • I went to a Mommy and Me group, and nobody talked to me. I felt like an idiot. Most of the time if I go to my daughter's school, I end up hanging out with the little ones instead of the other moms because the kids are easier to interact with. I agree, if you volunteer to do something like craft day or float building for a parade, you'll have a task to focus on rather than just chit-chat.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 5:47 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • does it run in your family. maybe its part of your personality. just let others talk to you first. learn to stand there and look pretty without using your cell phone
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 6:00 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • When I was younger, volunteering with something that was important to me helped a lot to force me to come out of my shell and get comfortable talking to strangers. It helps to have a job to do (so you're not just standing around aimlessly) and when you have to talk to people as part of it, you learn how to break into a conversation. See if you can find a volunteering opportunity where you are helping strangers in some way (so you have to learn to be friendly and approachable). Keep in mind, this may always be something that takes effort - something you have to consciously pretend to be comfortable with - but it is possible to get good enough to fool most people! :) And it really does get easier with practice and experience (because you learn to have faith in your ability to handle yourself in most situations).
    Sebbiemama

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 6:48 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • I am extremely shy as well. I just force myself to do things and eventually I feel comfortable enough in different situations to relax a little bit and interact. My jobs in the past have really forced me to learn to cope with my social anxiety and now I can hide it really well, but those closest to me can still see what a strain it is for me. Really the only place that I fit in well and notice that my anxiety is at a minimal despite new people and new situations is when I am working in my chosen profession which is in the health care field. I am extremely confident in what I do and my training and as long as it is a medical emergency or some sort of medically related situation I jump right in and feel at home and at peace.
    theMOMmission

    Answer by theMOMmission at 10:34 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • I hate to be in groups of ppl that i dont know because i get extremely nervous and just shut down. then i feel like an idiot just sitting there.
    lady219

    Answer by lady219 at 10:44 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.