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Calling all step parents!

alright heres a back story.. my husband and i met three years ago, he had a son i had a son..
my son is 6-11/29/06
his son is 5- 04/27-/07

my sons dad has been in and out for the last 4 years..

his mom has never been there she walked away when he was 3mnths..

so when i came around 3 years ago well i changed everything it went from it just being him and his dad to being dad and him plus me and my son..

so heres my question, as a step parent how do you begin to build a bond?
is it possible to build a bond strong enough like the one between a biological child?

Answer Question
 
mampanda0422

Asked by mampanda0422 at 11:05 PM on Jan. 12, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,395 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • As a step parent who is the only mom in my SD's life, I would say you build a bond by living together as a family. You can't help but bond when you are there for them through good and bad. My SD and I have been close since she was 6 but she has only lived with us full time (long story, she lived in the UK with grandparents) for a year. We have had some bumps along the way and we are working through it as a family with a therapist and it is going well.
    I treat SD as my own and love her as my own and when she's grown I hope she feels as strongly for me as my own will. Who can say? Just live and love.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 11:18 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • @tessiedawg well for three years i have been trying.. but he has this wall and won't let me through.. ive been trying..last year when my son went to kindergarten it was just me and him at home.. i tried playing with him with the toys and coloring and he would just walk away from me..
    mampanda0422

    Comment by mampanda0422 (original poster) at 11:21 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Y'all need a family therapist.
    they can teach the two of you how to communicate

    trust me, been there done that
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 11:26 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • @feralxat i thought about that, he has a speech delayment so when i talked to his doctor about it he said he wouldn't recommended because it could make it to where he doesn't talk more...
    mampanda0422

    Comment by mampanda0422 (original poster) at 11:28 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Yup, I'm with feral on this one. Instead of beating my head against the wall I dragged everyone to therapy and we are all better off for it. Don't be afraid to because he is young, that is better than having to deal with it at 13 like I am! GL
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 11:29 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • I would get a second opinion about the speech delay being worse because of therapy. That doesn't sound right at all.
    tessiedawg

    Answer by tessiedawg at 11:30 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • i talked to his doctor about it he said he wouldn't recommended because it could make it to where he doesn't talk more.

    the kid doesn't need to talk more. he needs to learn how to express himself in a safe non judgmental environment

    get a 2nd opinion
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 11:34 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • Thank ladies!
    mampanda0422

    Comment by mampanda0422 (original poster) at 11:35 PM on Jan. 12, 2013

  • I grew up with a stepdad, my mom married him when I was 9. I can tell you without a doubt I love him and he loves me as much as any father/daughter out there. But it took time. I read recently that it can take 5 years or more for a blended family to completely "gel". We went to therapy (my, my brother and sis, my 2 stepbrothers and my parents). Some of us went to more sessions than others.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:31 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • its very hard but as soon as possible
    notasha.taggart

    Answer by notasha.taggart at 2:52 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

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