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What to do? adult content

Hi! This is the second time on different occasions that he has naked woman in his cellphone! Last time I said to him that I didnt want that to happen again and it seems like he doesnt even care. I really dont know what to do or say anymore. The first thing that immediately pops is to leave him but I dont want to jump into any rapid conclusions without really thinking straight and know what Im really going to handle this situation.

You know it makes me feel Im not worth it and that he needs that in order to operate/function I mean.

I really would like support.

Thank you

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:22 AM on Jan. 13, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Does he know these women?
    Did he take the pictures himself?
    Is he having sex with these women?
    Is he not having sex with you because of these women? (Ex: masturbating too much?)
    Are your needs/the needs of your family in some way not met because of these pictures? (Ex: he lost his job because of an affair he was having or because he got caught spending time on his phone looking at them?)

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:29 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • Hi Partygalanne! Let me answer your questions. In reality this has happened 3 times already.
    1 The first and third time he doesn't know them..I guess those are magazine models but the 2nd time he had a lot of his ex.
    2. I'm not sure anymore. 1st time he said someone send that to him and he forgot to erase it. 3rd time 'today' I'm pretty sure he was the one that search for that pic.
    3 No he's not having sex with them.
    4.We have an active sexual life
    5. He has his job. No issues about that.

    Even if he knows or he doesn't know them the case is that we are not even married yet and I have to have discussions about naked women/pictures or things related about sex that it doesn't involve us as a couple together meaning that he seems more interested about other things and not me.

    I don't know I feel very bad with myself.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:57 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • So other than you being mad about it, this has not had a negative impact on your relationship in any way, correct?
    I would suggest you pick your battles.
    Men respond to visual stimuli. Women respond emotionally.
    Unless you're going to poke his eyes out, there will always be some kind of visual stimulation!

    And BTW, how did you see the pics in his phone? Snooping? Sounds like there are trust issues. And if you don't trust him now, you never will. You might as well call it quits. Without trust, you don't have a relationship!

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:17 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • It's not boding well for a marriage. Not because of the pictures, but because he's ignoring your feelings on the matter. And if you were snooping on his phone, that's as bad as his disregard for your feelings.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:29 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • I've never understood why it bothers women when men look at magazines or other pictures of beautiful women. It sounds like you two have a good sex life, so it isn't as if he's neglecting you for the pictures. I'm not trying to be mean, since it sounds like you feel bad about yourself, but I'd suggest maybe you try to look inward and figure out why pictures of women neither of you know are causing you so much distress.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:42 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • Well I just talk to him and he said that other friends send pictures to other friends and it was ok. He was showing me some pictures of work and I was looking at them and boom it was there.

    So is perfectly fine him having naked pictures? You wouldnt get angry at all?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:54 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • OP...Men are visual creatures, just like we are emotional. Maybe he is missing that. When is the last time you dressed up sexy for him? Such an apron, with nothing on. Or wear a hot skirt with no underwear, and go out to dinner like that. Or even just laying in bed naked striking a sexy pose.....

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 2:55 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • I guess thats the way things are now (more open) .... them having naked pictures of exes and others and accepting that. I wonder how good for the marriage this is going to bewhen years pass....just like a normal thing. In my case I dont see it that way.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:01 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • From my point of view I thought that marriage was about respect, being considerate and so on...but I guess is not anymore then.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:08 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • Maybe you aren't ready to marry this man?

    Answer by Ballad at 3:14 AM on Jan. 13, 2013

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