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Developmentally delayed Potty Training

hello guys i have been potty training my son for about 3 years (He's 4) and have not had any success , Although he is developmentally delayed and is delayed in speech (gibberish and real words) he can tell me what he wants like "I WANT JUICE OR I WANT PIZZA" etc..... But im at the end of my ropes with cleaning up his poop because he refuses to go to the bathroom , he can be next to a toilet if he feels the urge to poop or urinate he will go on the floor !! He hates potty time , he gets upset everytime i tell him to go , i have to constantly get his rug cleaned because he poops and pee's on it :( .... Yes i put him in pull ups for bed but when he goes to school he has underwear and also around the house when he's home .. WHAT SHOULD I DO I NEED HELP

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:48 PM on Jan. 13, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • He may not be developmentally ready for potty training. Many kids with delays don't train until much later. I'm assuming he goes to a preschool that addresses his delays? Your best bet would be to talk to his teacher since she knows where he is. If he's in speech or occupational therapy, talk with them too.
    My son has autism. He didn't train until 6, which was earlier than most of the kids in his class. We used a "first, then" model and rewards when he actually went through trial and error. When he was ready, it took less than 2 weeks to day and night train him.

    Answer by missanc at 5:57 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • My son was not fully trained until he was 8 (autism)
    Yeah,it sucks buying diapers for that long,but it's stupid to keep cleaning up poop off the floor
    It has to be THEIR idea

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:14 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • My grandson has Pervasive Develpemental Delays. He is 8 and 1/2 and he is still not fully potty trained. It isn't his fault. Be patient and praise but in the long run don't ask him if he has to go set a timer and when it goes off you say potty time. Take his hand and go. My gs is dry most of the time. But if he is stressed, forget it. I understand your frustrations. If he is only 4 and you've been training him for 3 years? and he has delays...beginning way to early has added to the problem. Boys are frequently not ready at 2, they just don't usually have the control. Little girls are often ready aat 2. My boys weren't ready until they were nearly 3. Be consistant.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 6:42 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • Does he fumble with his clothes? Is it difficult for him? My son was almost 5 when he trained and it took only 3 days. They have to want to do it. I would rather change diapers than clean up after them. I know it's frustrating, but maybe he just needs more time. Good luck!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 6:21 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • is he toilet trained at school?
    if so, what are they doing different
    if not, he is not doing there or at home
    might need more time to develop

    mine trained at just under four, therapists said she never would before four

    she could hold it, but not handle all the steps- clothes, sitting, etc

    when naked she would be fine, any clothes on her- too much to think about

    if you think he is ready- then think what might be holding him back
    is it sensory issue with the toilet, scared of flushing sound or being flushed himself- no reason is too odd, go through all possibilities

    does he have a therapist or special ed teacher- pick their brains on what might be the biggest hurdle (they are most likely more than one issue that is delaying this)

    or again, he might need more time and not ready

    good luck
    it will come

    Answer by fiatpax at 7:41 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • Honestly, I only have experience with my own children when it comes to potty training. Considering that your son is delayed, I would see if his doctor or even school aids have any suggestions. But, if you haven't tried the reward approach yet, I'd start with that.

    Answer by 3libras at 5:57 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • My oldest son is developmentally & language delayed too. He always used to hold his poop until he had his night time diaper on. It just takes time & patience & eventually something will just click & he will have success. Once he goes successfully the first time you have to celebrate like he won the Super Bowl! lol :p I know it's frustrating, but he'll get there. I also like the idea of talking to his teachers & therapists, b/c they probably have some tricks up their sleeves. Hang in there & GL!


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:56 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

  • Hello Guys thank all of you so much for commenting :) ...... My son is Elementary school (pre-k sped for autism) his teacher puts the students on the toilet every 30 minutes so thats what we are doing at home . At home sometimes he gets of the toilet and once he's in his room he will poop , or pee , I completely understand that all of you guys feel that he may not be ready , to be honest its not really the fact that i have been training him for 3 years , its the fact that he will Eat his food say " throw in garbage " and run to the garbage .... But the toilet is "EVIL TO HIM" as far as him being able to take his clothes off or pull his underwear down THATS NOT AN ISSUE , he does that great he just simply refuses to go potty :( his teacher told me to discontinue all pullups so he has on nothing but underwear until bedtime , i guess this is something that is up to him until then i will continue to do potty time every 30 minutes

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:09 PM on Jan. 13, 2013

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