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2 Bumps

Do you have a close relationship with your natural mother? Is she your bff?

I have respect for my mother but we were never close. She always has had very close relationships with both of my younger sisters. It just makes me wonder since I was in first grade, what did I do to deserve such a mother. In her eyes, I was never pretty, never girly, never sweet. When I would fall and cry for her because of my bloody scraped up knees, I saw her disgust & hate on her face as she dropped a tissue on the ground and told me stop crying because it's making my face uglier than it already is. This behavior from her was repetitive until I was old enough to be on my own.

My sister next in age to me (3 years younger) observed her treatment of me over the years and now treats me the same like I'm lower than dirt. My baby sister (9 years younger) was too young to remember but as an adult she says she now sees the actions of my sister. But she won't say anything about my mother.

My mother has her 2 main disappointments of me. I know I will never live up to her financial expectations or her racial expectations (I didn't marry a CEO and I married outside of my race.) I married for love, not for money.

I'm a believer than all things occur for one reason or another. I have a very tight bond with my daughter. She tells me that I am her best friend all the time. And I tell her that I will always be her best friend forever infinite. I love my daughter so much it hurts. I could never demand crazy expectations of her nor make her feel unwanted/unloved.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Jan. 14, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (25)
  • I wouldn't consider her my bff but we're close in the fact that I'm an only child and have never lived more than 20 miles away from her.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 3:03 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

  • I have a close relationship with my Real mother not my natural mother.
    Why did you feel the need to put natural in your heading?
    Mother would have sufficed

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 3:05 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

  • And I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't fathom how a mother can treat their child like that. My mother has definitely said some things to me that make me cautious of what I say to her but I know that it's simply because she doesn't realize how she sounds when she says certain things, not because she is trying to put me down.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 3:06 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

  • I just have a question. Do you & your Mom share a similar birthdate? Sometimes this happens when the child reminds the Mother of herself. If she is unhappy then she projects the pain onto that child. Just an idea.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

  • Because I have more love & acceptance from my stepmom and I consider my stepmom my mother.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:08 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

  • She was before she passed away from cancer. I have friends, but no one could ever take her place.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

  • Close? No. My mother doesn't really know me. She never really did,never tried. She's always cared about her own wants and needs at the expense of mine. I went without ALOT,but she always made sure she had her cigarettes. I'd go to school with bread and water(literally),but she had her smokes

    I wouldn't even really consider her a friend in any capacity. It kills me that we never had that bond. It'll never happen. I've tried so many times over the years. I've given up

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:09 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

  • Yes. We're very close

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:11 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

  • I have a very close relationship with my mother but I would never consider her my bff. In my opinion, that's just not the natural progression of a parent/child relationship.

    Answer by hootie826 at 3:13 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

  • In college, my father was an up and coming business intern, successful in making financial connections with a very promising future. My mother admitted to chasing him to marry well. When they married, immediately she became pregnant. Things did not go so well. When I was born, it turns out my father was a womanizer and loved the chase. My parents seperated and eventually divorced. She did tell me that having me made her feel trapped with him, like she was now damaged goods. I'm sure that had something to do with it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:14 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

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