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Advice on 15 yr old dd.. im at my witts end....

my dd was a good kid ( in a way she still is with me ) she does her chores... when she wasent grounded she was home when i said... and so fourth.. but now shes in high school and eaither shes getting detentions for skipping advisoary ( home room ) were she has a detention 3-4 times a week. shes late to classes which gets a detention... and today i got a call saying she left school ( 20 mins before school day was over ) they called the police and was able to get her back and they put her on the bus to come home. i have taken cell phone away... her radio ( she loves ) playstation.. tv.. u name it all thats left is her room. she already has extra chores.. and i have made her sit with me and read and then do a lil report.. telling her she does better in school she can earn things back.. but still just as i think shes doing better.. its another thing.. i dont know what to do with her anymore.. or what to do to go to class on time.. no skip advisory.. and now leaveing school grounds. what do i do!? im at my wits end.. i will not have her go down this rd. i have told her her job is school.. i provided food..clothes.. roof over her head.. i gave her money to shop.. movies.. and so forth.. but with her screwing up.. she will not get it anymore.. ugh... advice ladies.. am i doing something wrong? am i missing something?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Jan. 14, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (10)
  • have you asked her WHY she is skipping class? has anything drastic happened recently?
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:09 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

    Credits: 147312 Level 42 1 star1 star Teens (13-17) Minor
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  • I'll bet you a boy is the major reason
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:11 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

    Credits: 342328 Level 49 1 star1 star Teens (13-17) Minor
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  • Does she have new friends who are being a bad influence on her? Have there been any recent changes in her life that would have affected her emotionally? If all of this is new behavior, I would look for the root cause of it. Could she just be looking for attention and the only kind she knows to go after is for negative behavior? Sometimes, when children are behaving well, they don't get any attention, and they will act up just to be noticed. Have you tried just letting her explain to you her reasons for her behavior? Sometimes, you can learn a lot by listening "between the lines". I would not assume that she is just being bad to be bad, but I would determine to get to the bottom of the "whys."
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:12 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

    Credits: 61437 Level 33 1 star1 star Teens (13-17) Minor
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  • It seems to me you are doing the right thing. Is there a boy in the picture? it also seems to me she might be being coerced to do these things by her peers..peer pressure sucks big time, but stick to your guns mom.....
    older

    Answer by older at 3:12 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

    Credits: 2036570 Level 68 1 star1 star Teens (13-17) Minor
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  • There was a kid who kept cutting class when I was in school, and his mom started walking him to the classroom and sitting next to him. He changed his tune real quick.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:17 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

    Credits: 83746 Level 36 1 star Teens (13-17) 101
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  • Why is she doing it? You will find out she is doing this with soneone else. I bet that is the reason she is doing it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:27 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

    Credits: 92075 Level 37 1 star1 star Teens (13-17) Minor
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  • School was boring for me to begin with, but once a family "friend" started molesting me my interest in doing the "right" thing dropped drastically. I felt dirty and used and really didn't care about much of anything.

    I'm not saying that's what's happening here, but I'm willing to bet there is SOMETHING underlying the cause of her drastic change in behavior. To find it you'll have to be patient but persistent. Talk with her about meaningless things. Rebuild her trust in you. Go out for a Girls Only Day. Remind her that you are always there to listen to her if she needs to talk.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 10:12 PM on Jan. 14, 2013

    Credits: 85875 Level 36 1 star Teens (13-17) 101
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  • Does your school have an alternative school - for pregnant teens and otherwise troubled kids? I would call the school and ask them for help. You obviously cannot be with her 24/7. I would ask to send her there for a semester and see how she does. AND maybe this will be a good for her and she can see what's it could be like. Seriously call the school and set up a meeting, see what the school can do to help you with this situation. I understand we're the parents but we do leave our kids in the schools care.
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 8:30 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

    Credits: 14737 Level 22 1 star Teens (13-17) 101
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  • well the school my kids go to,they have officers at the door to see u when u come in and out,like the other moms i would set up a meeting with the couselor at the school.,and maybe she need one on one time with u,so u can see and understand why shes acting out.
    yahoomailer

    Answer by yahoomailer at 9:38 AM on Jan. 22, 2013

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  • This is exactly who I was at that age. I had great parents.. good life... but still I acted out. I'm still not 100% sure why I did it... But I did all the things you're talking about.. only I began to sneak out of my house after my parents went to bad -- so watch out for that. I would say it had a lot to do with my friends. I wanted to be "cool" I guess. So i acted out in school.. told off my teachers.. skipped classes.. left the school to wander around town with my friends.. skipped detention.. In massachusetts where I live, there is a thing called CHINS (Child in need of Services) A parent can put a child under 17 on CHINS for being a runaway, or not following rules at home, and a school can put a child on CHINS for misbehaving at school, or being absent a lot. I would talk to the school and see if they have something similar where you live. It's basically like probation for kids.. That's what helped me get over my phase
    momofthree3708

    Answer by momofthree3708 at 1:50 PM on Feb. 3, 2013

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