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What would you do about the school?

so my dd always tells me they aren't allows to talk at lunch not even whisper if they do the whole lunchroom has to lay their heads down. Well yesterday she packed and I guess she didn't get to finish her lunch because they had to p it down their heads. She said she didn't get to eat none of her sandwhich they spent recess with their heads down. I did ask the principle as I called her she said its a quiet lunch so if not quiet they do put their heads down cause if they talk they don't eat. So my dd came home from school starving. My mom said it is against the law to keep them from eating. So I don't know if I should go to the school or forget it since I talked to the principle on the phone?

Also my dd told me the other day that she as k ed for a tissue as she couldn't reach it was on the top shelf but the teacher said no you get it. Then on Friday they watched a movie and the teacher gave the kids a piece of candy, but my dd couldn't open hers so she asked for help the teacher Saud no you open it and told her she was no help. Then yesterday she came home and told me the teacher yelled at her. She said she was going to ask the teacher what a word ment but the teacher yelled at her to go away. So the principle had her call me she said it was b because she was trying to ask her something in the middle of testing a child which they can't interrupt because they are timed and it would mess it up but my dd said she waited until she was done testing. Then the teacher also said she asked the kids to make 3 piles one for paper Ffinished to be turned in, anotheir for unfinished papers and then homework she said my dd put them in one pile so the teacher asked 3 Times if they were finished my dd said yes so she checked and they weren't so she gave her extra homework for lying. But when I asked my dd she said it was 2 piles and she did do that. The teacher said she was pprobably upset at her for giving her homework so that is probably why she was tselling me that.

I haven't ever had problems with her not wanting to go to school but this morning she d I didnt want to go. So I don't know if I should forget it since we talked on phone or go to the school to find out what is really going on? My dd was also doing really well made Marit roll all year last year, but this year is doing bad getting cs and fs and ds. the teacher said she is 6 months behind and said she wouldn't have passed her had she had her last year she said this since a month into the school year. She wants to hold her back.


Asked by mommy5409 at 8:29 AM on Jan. 15, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 25 (22,258 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • when the principal told you - if they talk they dont eat - he broke a federal law - federal law mandates for all 50 states that lunch has to be at least 20 minutes and punishing a child by not letting them eat is totally illegal. they should get a writing assignment or somethign other than making them go hungry. you should let him know that. he should know better. i would be just attending the next board meeting and letting them aware of the fact that this policy breaks federal law and if i dont hear about it changing - my next stop is the lawyer/ media./ etc... i would not allow that to continue.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:14 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • The lunch thing, I would ask the principal "So, the point of putting their heads down is to teach them not to talk so they can eat? But if their heads are down for all of lunch, they still don't eat, so what exactly are they learning? Oh, and by the way, if my child comes home again and tells me she couldn't eat because others were talking, you'll be seeing me again, going over your head." That would absolutely not fly with me.

    The stuff with the teacher, I started out with some suggestions, but the more I think about it, it sounds like she is just determined your daughter is a failure who can't do anything right. So I think I'd be going in and asking to have my kid put in a different class.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:42 AM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • Are you able to go in and just observe the class/school for a whole day? That would be my first step, I would tell the teacher and/or principal that you want to sit in and watch/help for a day. If they have a problem with that then honestly I think its time to find another school!

    Answer by DreainCO at 9:51 AM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • What kind of BS is it that kids can't talk in a lunchroom? I remember the cafeteria being loud as shit when I was in school, buzzing with conversation all around. I mean it's the only time kids get to socialize since they're not in the classroom. Who gives a fuck if they talk? This alone would have be bitching to the super intendent and if that didnt work I'd find another school all together.

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:50 AM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • that is like my dd told me they weren't allowed to u we their fingernails doing math they will have a math problem say 14 + 8= just like this instead of up or down so we showed her how to put 14 then under put the 8 and carry the number so she was doing it like that and she said the teacher told her she wasn't allowed to do it that way, but when we went in for intern pickups she said she never said that and they can do it anyway as long as they come up with the right answer but she says she still gets into trouble for doing it like that

    Comment by mommy5409 (original poster) at 8:51 AM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • I talked to the principle on the phone then she had the teacher call me but wondering if I should still go up their to see what is actually going on

    Comment by mommy5409 (original poster) at 8:53 AM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • She just thinks she is behind and suggests that we hold her back aND she said she asked the whole class not to interrupt and she did but my dd said she was done testing. I did n t ask the teacher about the other stuff

    Comment by mommy5409 (original poster) at 9:15 AM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • If it were me, I'd be up in that school. raising all kinds of hell. I do not, at all, tolerate ANYONE calling my child a liar. Unless I have a valid reason to doubt my child's word, I'm going to be raising all kinds of stink in their defense.

    Your child is coming home telling you one thing. You call the school and the teacher is telling you something completely different. If you believe the teacher over the child you are teaching your child that you will do nothing to protect them. If your child feels like you don't believe her, and will do nothing to protect her, she won't come to you with important problems. I know, it happened to me. My dad never believed anything I said, so I stopped asking him for help/advice with anything.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:38 AM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • First of all, DreainCO had a great suggestion to ask for a day to observe her in the classroom. You should do that. Second, you should schedule a sit down meeting with this teacher, your daughter and the principal and tell them you want to discuss your child's progress in the classroom, and set up some goals to help her be more successful and up to grade level by the end of the school level. Third, I would ask for some extra help from the school. Find out if they have any programs in place to help children who might be struggling, ask them how they plan to help her out, if she needs the extra help. And, you might also inquire about a tutor or find out if there is someone or someplace they can recommend for help outside of the classroom.

    The idea that the children have to sit through lunch and recess with their heads down is ridiculous. I would take up that argument after you get the help for your child in the classroom.

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:02 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • First you did not give an idea of how old your child is so I can't get that into the pictuer.

    Go to the school but schedule the conference so the teacher and pricipal and anyone else involved can be there.
    Have specific questions that you want address but be open to hearing what they have to say. She may need to be transferred to another classroom.

    The lunch bothers me.
    #1 children are required by law to be allowed to eat their lunch. If it is a quiet lunch, that is the schools right but I personally think it is shooting the school in the foot
    #2 To punish the child or children talking is one thing but the entire lunchroom not being allowed to eat is also unfair and wrong.
    #3 This is a school not a prison.

    #4 The heads down at recess is again shooting in the foot. Children like adults have to burn off some of the energy that has been pent up in their still bodies. Even prisoners are allowed outside each day.

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:54 PM on Jan. 15, 2013