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2 Bumps

My husband says I'm a "shut in"?

I'm 37, I have 2 boys ages 1 & 2, and my husband I works out of town 10 days at time. We live near his parents who visit the kids when they want to and make me feel like I'm asking to much if I ask them to babysit while I run to the store. I don't really have friends here, we live in an upstairs 2 bdrm apt in the middle of town and there's not much to do here except a trip to Walmart so the kids and I are home a lot. We play and watch TV and do crafts sometimes but is that enough? My husband says I'm a shut in. I'd like to do more with my kids outdoors but they're both so young & hard to keep track of by myself if we go to a park or something. Am I just making excuses? The things he says makes me feel horrible. I'm with my kids 24/7 & I love them but I'm not sure if I can handle them both out by myself.

Answer Question

Asked by TDH37 at 9:34 PM on Jan. 15, 2013 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Maybe when he is home you should leave the kids with him and go get some quality 'you time'. When you come home and they aren't changed and nothing has been done you can ask why he didn't go out and about with the kids. A nice long day of having to do the other person's job usually gives a nice lesson in humility.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:39 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • It is winter , but you must have parks near by you can go to. I would try that

    Answer by sunshine196 at 9:41 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • Is there a library or community center in town? They have activities for children and they could find others their age to play with.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:42 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • Why don't you ask his parents to meet you and the kids at the park? The least they can do is say no. Maybe it will turn out great and be something you can do again.

    Answer by missanc at 9:49 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • I had 3 kids under two years old ( twins and a younger daughter).  Was I a bit of a shut in, heck yes I wasn't going to waste their nap time driving home from somewhere  while they slept in the back seat.   I needed that time.  Every other day or so I'd take them to the library or a grocery store just to get out.  I loved my library, We were  there just about every other day.  I couldn't loose any of them there and it gave me just enough time to get home feed them something, read to them and put them down for a nap.  Also I joined a local MOPS ( mother of preschoolers) group, this was very helpful.

    Have your DH watch them when he is  in town,  all by himself, for several days in a row,  and see if he comes up with any better ideas.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 9:58 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • I would love to have your life. I feel like I am always driving somewhere and we are really never home to do those quality things like crafts and movies. I guess there is probably a middle ground somewhere between our two lives! I think it is great that you spend so much time playing with your children, they will value it when they are older. But you should have a few friends for some adult company too. Does your local church have a play group or a moms group, and if not why not strike out and start one up. In your town I bet there are other moms who would like the play date too!

    Answer by spottedpony at 10:07 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • I'd tell Husband to shove it up his backside. You've got your hands full, with two that young. Let me guess: your house is clean, laundry is done, and he never goes hungry when he is home, right? He's got the easier workday, in reality. He has no idea what its like to be the only parent to babies/toddlers, and run the household ALONE. Next time he's 'in town', I suggest you let him find out.
    If your babies are healthy and thriving, you're doing just fine. As they get older, you will find it less stressful going places, and most likely, get to know others. But for now, do what you can, without additional stress.

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:22 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • You are that way because you have to adjust your life to fit his. I'm a total shut in. Whatever. I'm okay not being around a bunch of fake people or kids I don't like. I don't have family to take them off my hands. It gets better when they are in school. If you are happy and they are it's your business. You would be paying out the butt for daycare if you worked. Let him walk a mile in your shoes and see how much he feels like going out.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 10:34 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • Check at your local community centre - ours has mother and toddler days. It also has coffee times where you can go for an hour and let your child play safely while you have a coffee and a chat. Libraries are pretty good places for kids too - does your local one do story times? Or how about inviting your ILs to go to the park with the 3 of you? That way they get to play with the kids without feeling that they're being taken advantage of.

    Answer by winterglow at 4:38 AM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • What an awful thing for him to say, esp being out of town 10 days at a time!how understanding of him......ugh!!!! I wonder how many times he would load them up if the roles were reversed and still stay on top of everything else.......

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 6:20 AM on Jan. 16, 2013

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