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4 Bumps

Should I speak up or stay out of it?

We are staying at my really goods friends house until we get our taxes. They are struggling financially and so are they. So it helps all of us out. Well my friend is a SAHM of 3 boys and she is in a HORRIBLE relationship. Her SO will come home from work and bitches at her saying she doesn't do anything around the house and she's lazy. Well I'm home with her all day. We split the cleaning evenly. I help her with her kids. I really want to say something for one I hate seeing him treat her like that especailly since she does do shit around the house and secondly it makes me feel like maybe he might think the same thing about me. Should I speak up next time he does this or just leave it alone? I'm not trying to get in the middle of their relationship. I hate seeing my friend upset and unappreciated.

Answer Question
 
JennieMarie1103

Asked by JennieMarie1103 at 11:51 PM on Jan. 15, 2013 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,321 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I think I would talk quietly to her.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:56 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • I have talked to her about it.
    JennieMarie1103

    Comment by JennieMarie1103 (original poster) at 11:59 PM on Jan. 15, 2013

  • 1. Why do you care what he thinks of you?
    2. Will he kick you out or worse, her too if you say anything?
    3. Do you think she doesn't know he's an ass?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 12:01 AM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • I would just stay out of it.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:02 AM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • I care what he thinks about me because I don't want anyone thinking I don't do shit around the house and that I'm lazy?

    No one would get kicked out.

    Of course she knows he's an ass ,but that doesn't mean I shouldn't be there for her. Maybe having someone else telling him would change his perspective.
    JennieMarie1103

    Comment by JennieMarie1103 (original poster) at 12:12 AM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • Maybe have your dh/so say something to him and if he hears it from a man he may be more willing to pay attention to how he treats her.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:19 AM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • There's an old cartoon of a man coming home and finding his wife sitting in the midst of a living room that looks like a cyclone had ripped through it. The caption: "You asked what I do all day. Well, today I didn't do it."

    I think you and your friend need to act that particular cartoon out for the benefit of the Jerk. And make sure your husband is around for backup.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:51 AM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • There's an old cartoon of a man coming home and finding his wife sitting in the midst of a living room that looks like a cyclone had ripped through it. The caption: "You asked what I do all day. Well, today I didn't do it."I think you and your friend need to act that particular cartoon out for the benefit of the Jerk. And make sure your husband is around for backup.

    I like that idea alot!
    JennieMarie1103

    Comment by JennieMarie1103 (original poster) at 1:12 AM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • What does your friend have to say about the way she's being treated? Could you try humor? Something like, "Of course we don't do anything all day. Tha's what we keep you around for." Sometimes reflecting someone's thoughts back to tem makes everyone in the room know how absurd they are.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:38 AM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • maybe you should help her out of there
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 9:22 AM on Jan. 16, 2013

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