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Is this normal for a birthday party invitation?

My son has a mild case of asperger's so his birthday parties have been limited. He started a new school a few weeks ago, and got an invitation to a birthday party, it reads the time date and etc, and on the bottom it says,
India wears a size 8 and a size 3 in shoes, India also would like money.
This was not written by the child, but by an adult, I asked DS if he wants to go, I have no clue about the parents at all, but the thing on the bottom made me a bit wary of sending him.
He informed me that as a "big" boy he doesn't want me to stay at the party, but I don't know if I am just nervous or if that is an odd request.
I would never ask for money on a birthday invitation, but maybe I don't know the protocol? When my daughter had parties, we just called and invited her friends.


Asked by jerseydiva at 1:58 PM on Jan. 16, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I wouldn't leave him with strangers

    Those requests are strange. If it was me,i'd be a smartass and give her a dollar,lol. Why would her school friends buy her shoes??

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:14 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • I personally think it is rude for a parent to put that. You shouldn't tell the guests to give money-- they should be happy anyone is coming at all.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:03 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • There are some people that think it's okay to put stuff like that in a child's invitation. IMO it's tacky.

    Answer by idareyou at 2:05 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • Wow, tacky as hell to put that in an invitation. If you feel comfortable dropping a five in a birthday card, I guess I don't see the harm in sending your son, so long as you leave a phone number where you can be reached. Have the parents of this India character dealt with Asperger's before?

    Answer by Ballad at 2:11 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • I've never seen one that asked for money but around here it is not unusual to see a childs shirt size listed or favorite colors or general interests. My GK don't go to every party they get an invitation to, only to friends they really want to go to. If you send invites to school here the entire class must be invited. It really is over the line. My GS is autistic and doesn't handle crowds, loud, bright noisy places. Generally he just wants his best friend Emily to go to the Jumping place and they have a slice of pizza and we have cake and ice cream at home. My gd has forgone parties for 2 years now in lieu of a shopping spree. Last yr she got $100 and she loved it. She is a shopper and I so am not. She did well, a dress, about 6 blouses and2 prs of jeans. All high end stuff...but all on the clearance racks. 100 bucks is way cheaper than a party by the time you buy gifts, decorations, goodie bags and a cake.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:15 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • If you think he can handle the party then let him go. It is VERY tacky & inappropriate to put requests on an invite. My Son has been to tons of parties & we had one for him at a bounce place & NO ONE wrote that. Maybe just give a gift card to a toy store for $20. My Son got a few gift cards for that amount for his last party. here is the party? Is it safe for you to leave him? If you do go then maybe ask one of the Birthday Parents to keep a special eye on him & leave them your phone # just in case. Explain your concerns to them. GL! Oh I don't know how old he is but the Parents stayed at all the parties we've been to & had. My Son is 6. If the other Parents are staying then tell him you are required to stay & that's what the Birthday girls parents said. When you call to RSVP ask if the other Parents are staying & that's also your opportunity to explain the situation with your Son.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:23 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • I wouldn't make a decision on whether or not he could go based on the fact that the parents are tacky.
    Look at it this way, it's one hour out of your life. Take him to a movie afterwards or something.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:25 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • So would you let him go or not? It will be meltdown city if I stay at the party, I want him to be able to have a good experience, and I need to RSVP by today. I am leaning towards the no side, but if I say no he will not forget about it and harp on me over and over! I kind of said to him, remember we had plans to see the HOBBIT? He want so bad to just "fit in"

    Comment by jerseydiva (original poster) at 2:07 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • Sure.. you could let him go. Just send an age appropriate gift. I wouldn't send money.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:09 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • The only people who know about his disorder are his teacher and the school staff, I am not going to "share" this with the parents of a child who seem to me to be having a birthday party to get money, new clothes and shoes, I find the whole thing odd, my kids only wanted toys etc... I may tell him it was cancelled, or IDK, I just want to avoid any drama etc. I called the mother and asked what the plans were, she said one hour of birthday cake, and then to come and get him. I mean who has a birthday party for an hour? I am not feeling comfortable with this at all, so we will come up with something!

    If I told a white lie to him that we "won" tickets to the Hobbit, he would buy it. He is too smart for his own good, lol!

    Comment by jerseydiva (original poster) at 2:19 PM on Jan. 16, 2013