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DD's family in law being mean to her

I live with my in-laws, we live downstairs in the basement and they live upstairs. My DD isn't their "biological" family, but I didn't think that mattered. My mother in law watches my two kids while I go to work (won't let me pay her) and she has two kids (13 yo girl & 15 yr old boy).

My DD (4) was upstairs and I was getting ready to call her down for bed and I hear the 13 yr old telling my DD to shut up and that she was getting on her nerves and was so annoying and the 15 yr old said my DD gets on his nerves too.

I got so mad because the 13 year old has NO right to comment,she has the worst attitude i've ever seen and is so spoiled. My daughter is not annoying, she's just playing.

I really want to move out, but my husband doesn't go back to work until March. How should I handle this? Should I let my husband handle it or just forget about it? I don't want my child bullied at her own home and it pisses me off. Help...

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Asked by sunshineemommy at 9:57 PM on Jan. 16, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (3,085 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Seriously? Were you an only child?
    This is typical of older siblings and younger or cousins. They are not the same age. I think you are being overly sensitive.
    I used to tell my brother , "go away kid, ya bother me" just because I liked the line and he was a spoiled brat.

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:02 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • That's not bullying.... it's pretty typical of siblings really. If you don't like it, you need to move out. There isn't much you can do. Some families are loud, yell, etc... it's just the way it is. Some use language you aren't always going to be fond of. You deal with it or you don't. You can't change the way someone else chooses to live. I would move out and find a babysitter......

    Answer by m-avi at 10:04 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • you wouldn't like someone saying mean things to your kids would you? They are not her siblings, this isn't the first time they've expressed their dislike of her and I'm tired of her feeling like no one likes her in her own house.

    Comment by sunshineemommy (original poster) at 10:09 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • but my husband pretty much doesn't care and I need to move out, but he refuses.

    Comment by sunshineemommy (original poster) at 10:09 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • teenagers can be very 'mean'
    get out as soon as you can
    and when your child is upstairs, be up there too
    maybe the teens will watch their actions when an adult is in the room

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:16 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • does the "grandma" say anything when the teens are mean?
    what adult is around when teens are mean- what does the adult say or do
    you might have to be the adult around when teens are with your little one

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:17 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • 4 yos are annoying to teens.

    the 13 and 15 yo do have a right to comment. The 4 yo was in Their part of the house.
    And if it was bedtime why wasn't the kid unwinding for the evening with her parents who have more patience for a little kid and their playing?

    Answer by feralxat at 10:18 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • yes "grandma" was upstairs, she just ignores them, will occasionally say "stop" but they don't listen to her. i am up there with her most of the time, but she was just upstairs for 3 or 4 minutes alone tops...

    Comment by sunshineemommy (original poster) at 10:20 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • I would be upset about the "shut up" part because that is one of the phrases I don't tolerate. The rest of it is typical of kids, especially with such a big difference in age. I take care of some kids after school, the 11 yo and my son are good friends but they have days where they tell each other to go away and stop being annoying. They act like siblings because they spend so much time together. That is what it sounds like is happening with you guys. Not everyone likes everyone else all the time, it is just a part of life.

    Answer by kmath at 10:20 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • You know, I was one of the youngest of 40 cousins, and as a teenager babysat my younger cousins in the next generation. In our family, talking down to a cousin like that was NOT tolerated. At best you'd get told to pick on someone your own size!

    I'd probably start telling the teenagers it takes real talent and intelligence to be picking on a four year old!

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:22 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

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