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DD's family in law being mean to her

I live with my in-laws, we live downstairs in the basement and they live upstairs. My DD isn't their "biological" family, but I didn't think that mattered. My mother in law watches my two kids while I go to work (won't let me pay her) and she has two kids (13 yo girl & 15 yr old boy).

My DD (4) was upstairs and I was getting ready to call her down for bed and I hear the 13 yr old telling my DD to shut up and that she was getting on her nerves and was so annoying and the 15 yr old said my DD gets on his nerves too.

I got so mad because the 13 year old has NO right to comment,she has the worst attitude i've ever seen and is so spoiled. My daughter is not annoying, she's just playing.

I really want to move out, but my husband doesn't go back to work until March. How should I handle this? Should I let my husband handle it or just forget about it? I don't want my child bullied at her own home and it pisses me off. Help...

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sunshineemommy

Asked by sunshineemommy at 9:57 PM on Jan. 16, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (3,080 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Seriously? Were you an only child?
    This is typical of older siblings and younger or cousins. They are not the same age. I think you are being overly sensitive.
    I used to tell my brother , "go away kid, ya bother me" just because I liked the line and he was a spoiled brat.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:02 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • That's not bullying.... it's pretty typical of siblings really. If you don't like it, you need to move out. There isn't much you can do. Some families are loud, yell, etc... it's just the way it is. Some use language you aren't always going to be fond of. You deal with it or you don't. You can't change the way someone else chooses to live. I would move out and find a babysitter......
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:04 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • 4 yos are annoying to teens.


    the 13 and 15 yo do have a right to comment. The 4 yo was in Their part of the house.
    And if it was bedtime why wasn't the kid unwinding for the evening with her parents who have more patience for a little kid and their playing?
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:18 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • You know, I was one of the youngest of 40 cousins, and as a teenager babysat my younger cousins in the next generation. In our family, talking down to a cousin like that was NOT tolerated. At best you'd get told to pick on someone your own size!

    I'd probably start telling the teenagers it takes real talent and intelligence to be picking on a four year old!
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:22 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • I would be upset about the "shut up" part because that is one of the phrases I don't tolerate. The rest of it is typical of kids, especially with such a big difference in age. I take care of some kids after school, the 11 yo and my son are good friends but they have days where they tell each other to go away and stop being annoying. They act like siblings because they spend so much time together. That is what it sounds like is happening with you guys. Not everyone likes everyone else all the time, it is just a part of life.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 10:20 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • The might not be her siblings, but being in the same house together all the time probably makes it seem that way to them. My teens and tweens can't stand little kids. They haven't had little kids here in forever (my youngest is 10), and when they just can't deal with them. Heck, they don't even like each other most days.

    If you want her to feel like everyone in her own house likes her, then find your own place and hire a babysitter to be there with her when you have to work, etc. Otherwise, you have to deal with it. You may not like it, but it looks like the teens aren't any happier about the situation than you are. It would be best to get out of there, for everyone's sanity.
    anime_mom619

    Answer by anime_mom619 at 10:24 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • No you aren't being unreasonable to want to move out. Most people want their own place, not to be living in their parent's house forever. Your husband not wanting to do anything about getting out of there is the real problem.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 10:27 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • You are living in the same house. It counts as being siblings. It is their house and they are acting normally. You and your daughter feel like outsiders and you are overly sensitive. No I don't like it when oe of my kids or grandkids or nephews is "being mean" to another but that is the way it is and this too will pass. Obviously you are welcome or you would not be there and grandma would not babysit. I am sure she has many other things she could do instead. But she takes care of her grandchild and gives up that free time willingly. I bet the boys say the same things to each other. She is feeling strange in a house surrounded by people when she hasn't been before and you are making it harder by telling her she is being bullied. And no, I don't think you say those words to her but you attitude does.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:42 AM on Jan. 17, 2013

  • you wouldn't like someone saying mean things to your kids would you? They are not her siblings, this isn't the first time they've expressed their dislike of her and I'm tired of her feeling like no one likes her in her own house.
    sunshineemommy

    Comment by sunshineemommy (original poster) at 10:09 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

  • but my husband pretty much doesn't care and I need to move out, but he refuses.
    sunshineemommy

    Comment by sunshineemommy (original poster) at 10:09 PM on Jan. 16, 2013

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