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My Little Sister found herself in the stereotypical situation

She and her boyfriend have been together 3 years. She moved out to California for this man just to find out that he'd been seeing other women sexually while she was still back in Utah but she forgave him of that because of their long relationship. Long story short she's 4 months pregnant and of course was expecting him to be happy since they've had a long relationship,have been living together for eight months and both have stable employment. He wants her to place the baby for adoption,which doesn't make any sense with them having stable housing,income and supposedly a stable relationship. She of course wants to keep the baby. I say little because she is younger then me but she's 21(she's also technically my stepsister but it's been almost 10 years so whatever).
So she's been given the get rid of the baby or I'm gone line from this guy.

Ok we've already worked things out so that she's going to the doctor and that she has a place a Her Mom's(/my Dad's) place and help with baby but what's next? When do we call and open a case with the ORS?

Big question: How do you not bad mouth their Father in front of the kid? What happens if he never wants to see his kid?

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lizziebreath

Asked by lizziebreath at 11:54 PM on Jan. 16, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 19 (6,727 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • There are some things kids don't need to be told. Dad's an ass is one of them.
    And if he doesn't want to see the kid as long as CS is coming in then, no worries. No having to hammer out a visitation schedule. No SM worries. No conflicting parenting styles.

    Call DHS to find out when to open a case. They will give you the best advice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Jan. 17, 2013

  • it is very easy not to bad mouth the father in front of the child if you love the child enough to do what is best for them.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 12:33 AM on Jan. 17, 2013

  • If she's only 4 months pregnant then it's ok to bad mouth the jerk dad. If she's not married to him she can move on and find a great dad for the child. File for CS as soon as the baby is born and there is a SS# for the child.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:30 AM on Jan. 17, 2013

  • What is ORS?

    As for your sister, is she intending to keep the baby and if so, is she staying with the guy or is she moving back home? (sounds like she is leaving and living with family until she gets on her feet).

    First, if he wants nothing to do with the baby then she needs to NOT put his name on the BC unless she is seeking child support. If he is on the BC, he can force the visitation (does she want this?), even without him on the BC, he could petition the court to compel her to take a DNA test and get visitation that way, but it's more lengthy and costs more on his behalf.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:47 AM on Jan. 17, 2013

  • As for not talking bad about him? Well, I guess she could just not talk about him at all. Once the child gets old enough and asks then she can just say 'your biological father wasn't ready to be a parent' or 'wasn't interested'. Simple truth without emotion works fine.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:49 AM on Jan. 17, 2013

  • Office of recovery services, they handle child support cases. I don't think this guy would be interested in visitation if you made him do it.
    lizziebreath

    Comment by lizziebreath (original poster) at 11:22 AM on Jan. 17, 2013

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