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Please help me figure out what to do..... kinda long... adult content

Ok my husband and I have been together sine Christmas day 2010 and the 1st time we had sex I got pregnant with our 15 month old son well we ended up getting married on August 1st 2011 and I had my son on Sept 22 2011 well then not 4 months later I find out I'm pregnant again with our 2nd son well I had him on October 3 exactly 1 year 11 days after my 1st son with him.... Anyways every since I was pregnant with our first son he is always hinting about hqving a 3 some and I was one raised that u don't share u man I have opened up a lot to.him like I give him bj's all the time which I use to gag on the thought and we have anal sex even though it hurts sometimes I mean I don't know he just makes me feel bad cuz I'm not up to a 3 some and I'm self concious about my weight as well I was a 4 before our 1st baby and now I'm a 11 so I dont think of myself as pretty anymore I don't think he is attracted to me like he use to be he keeps telling me the he thought the married life would be different u could have sex when and how many times u want but its the opposite I have to wait for u to be in the mood.... anyways I just feel lonely and needed to vent I guess... Thanks ....

Answer Question
 
nickjaykob

Asked by nickjaykob at 1:10 AM on Jan. 18, 2013 in Relationships

Level 10 (457 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • If you don't want a 3 some then flat out and just tell him. He shouldn't make you do what you are not comfortable with. If he keeps pushing you then he doesn't respect you. As your husband he should love you for you and all that comes with it so if you are not wanting it then don't do it.
    MamaLisec

    Answer by MamaLisec at 1:21 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • He tells me its something he has always wanted to do and he though that I would be understanging about his wants as he is for mine but my wants are simple for him to do like I wanted a keurig he got it for me but he expects me to go out of my comfort zone....
    nickjaykob

    Comment by nickjaykob (original poster) at 1:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • I know I read all this somewhere else on one of the groups, and I'm going to tell you the same thing.
    Do not ever take part in a sexual act that you are not 100% comfortable with.
    If he loves you he would never make you feel uncomfortable or pressure you in any way. If he loves you he would find ways to lift you up, not put you down.
    And holy hell I hope you're on birth control.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:32 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Well your wants are not with another man. Ask him if he wants a 3 some then it will be with another man... I don't think he would like that very much.
    MamaLisec

    Answer by MamaLisec at 1:32 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Btw I got my tubes tied and I tell him that ( about with a guy) and he gets defensive and says its not the same.....
    nickjaykob

    Comment by nickjaykob (original poster) at 1:44 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Tell him when you are ready you will and if you are never ready then he'll get over it. He's trying to manipulate you. Stand your ground. You already do things you are not truly wanting to do, remind him of that. He should be grateful for what you do give him and not dwell on what you don't.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:53 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • I'd personally tell him to stick the keurig up his behind and then get back with me about future anal sex. That stuff can cause problems guys don't even think about. He won't think it's so great when you are out in public and you crap yourself. (been there)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Oh but it is the same. He just wants to manipulate you. You should just tell him to drop the subject cause its never going to happen. If he keeps asking then buy a blow up doll...haha
    MamaLisec

    Answer by MamaLisec at 2:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • there is so much superfluous info in this post ugh
    if you don't not want a threesome then dont do it
    it will not make your relationship better
    it will not bring you closer
    it will not be this great emotional bonding moment

    the ONLY people who feel those things are people who WANT a threesome who are in a certain kind of relationship.
    you saying you dont want it means you are not in that kind of relationship

    And if he thought being married meant sex on demand then perhaps he should spend more time taking care of the kids so you can have a hot bath and get in the mood
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 2:40 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Ann & Feral nailed it!
    KA91

    Answer by KA91 at 3:01 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

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