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3 Bumps

How do i save my relationship? please no mean words

I want to save my 16 year relationship but he has doubts about wanting to be together anymore what do i do to not push him away further how do i rekindle our love, we have a child together, how do you know when it's too late and to just walk away. He's very confused one moment he loves me then hes not sure, it's so painful I don't know how much longer I can take this unsureness, please any advice

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Jan. 18, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • If he is SURE that he doesn't want to work on your relationship.. let him go.

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:19 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • maybe counseling?

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 10:25 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • marriage counseling would be a good start. If he isn't comfortable talking to you about these things then he should talk to someone that can make that bridge between the two of you. Regardless of where it leads. Communication is key.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:31 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • If he won't go to counseling, there isn't too much you can do, I would say that perhaps you should just work on yourself, and becoming a vital, smart woman. I would say do things to better yourself. Other than waiting for him to make up his mind, you are kind of stuck. Does he have a "honey" on the side now? What are his exact reasons for wanting to leave?

    Answer by jerseydiva at 10:33 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Why would you want to be with someone who isn't sure day to day if he loves you or not?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:33 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • I would suggest starting with counseling either separately or together. If he is unwilling to work on the relationship, then let him go. You can't make him love you. Either way, don't put your life on hold waiting for him to make up his mind. You have a child to consider here.

    Answer by hootie826 at 10:57 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • All you're going to do is torture yourself if you try to cling to something that isn't there anymore.

    Answer by 3libras at 11:05 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • I think the only chance you have of saving it is to walk away and refuse to come back unless you are married to him. I'm assuming you are not married since you didn't phrase it that way. I have known cases where a woman leaves and the guy decides he really doesn't want to live without her, proposes marriage, and they go on with their lives. There is no guarantee, but if I were in your situation, that is exactly what I would do. I would tell him that I love him, that I would like to spend the rest of my life with him, but that I have no intentions of trying to force him into doing anything. So I am leaving. If you decide you want me, you know where to find me, but don't expect to find me sitting idly, pining away, waiting for something I know may never happen. Wish him the best and leave.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:43 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Has he been screened for depression? Did he decide he didn't love you any more out of the blue? Could something have triggered it? Were you expecting this for a while?

    Answer by winterglow at 11:48 AM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Has he been seen by a shrink to determine if he has depression or anything else? If he does not want to work on the relationship then there is nothing you can do to save it. Relationships take two and that means both have to be willing to work for it.

    Answer by aeneva at 12:49 PM on Jan. 18, 2013

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