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spent the afternoon with a newborn

I am almost 5 months preg. with my third. my youngest is 4 1/2. my oldest is 6. So I have two slightly older, independent kind of kids. After one afternoon with this newborn I am so tense, reminded what it is like. I am wondering what the heck I was thinking and will I really be able to handle this?
The baby was beautiful, but he cried, and cried... unless he was being held and fed...

has anyone else become overwhelmed with wondering how they will be able to be a great mother to three very different children. esp. if one is a very demanding newborn? I feel so inadequate.


Asked by LuckyClown at 4:59 PM on Feb. 13, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • I think everyone gets a little freaked out from time to time before the birth of a new baby. It's not about whether your baby is planned or unplanned, but hormones and questions about how this particular child will be. Even if you do plan each one of your children down the letter, you still don't REALLY know what each new baby will bring. The important thing is that you love your kids and the rest will fall into place. And if you need help with a fussy baby don't be afraid to ask someone. Especially another mom. We've all been there.

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 7:18 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • Try to relax...the more relaxed you are now, the more relaxed your baby will be when he/she is born. You've done this before so you know the first line of defense pretty well...feed, change, burp, bounce, etc. Your baby might be an angel of a baby. If not, there is no sense in worrying about what you can't control. =) You'll do fine...really.

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 5:01 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • that was rude anon!!!!
    you've been a mother before so you knew what you were doing :)
    Your hormonal and your questioning it... thats normal. Remember its always different when it is your own kids..

    Answer by krazyash023 at 5:06 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • No krazyash it wasn't rude, its true! Before you get pregnant you should think about these things, don't you agree? Am I the only person left on this site who THINKS before I act!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • she already had kids.. how do you know she didn't plan this one?? did your hormones never get hte best of you when you were pregnant?? I know mine did. I do not understand why mothers can't come on this site for SUPPORT instead of having all you cowards who want to be rude and belittling and post it anonymous. Whatever happened to HELPING ONE ANOTHER?????

    Answer by krazyash023 at 5:15 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • well um i totally agree with krazy you are hormonal and already have kids wondering how you are going to do it and with other peoples kids you know that you can't handle them as well as you do your own so dont worry. wait and see how you feel when you have that lil one in your arms. good luck

    and anon if you think before you act maybe you should have kept your fingers still and not responded. it was rude and if you cant answer a question with a little tact than dont answer at all

    Answer by jodi205 at 5:25 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • It IS different when it's your own. You have them all the time. lol No seriously, I only have one boy so I can't say how I acted with 2 or 3 kids. I can tell you this is why I haven't had anymore yet. : ) I get paranoid too. I had an acid reflux baby. Then I kept thinking it really couldn't get much more worse than that. I know enough tricks to be fine with another one like that. I just don't do well without sleep. Will I have another one? Sure. When?...haha
    My cousin told me her 3rd was her roughest. After having 2 good babies, her 3rd seemed that much more harder cuz she wasn't use to it. Take in a deep breath, let it out and remember you have done it before, and don't expect it to be any harder than it was then. You'll be ok : )

    Answer by BubbysMom208 at 5:27 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • We have removed at least one answer from this question. Moms are looking for responses from other members that address the question they have asked. Please don't post judgmental or rude answers. They're not appreciated and will be removed by the CafeMom Team.

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    Answer by CafeMom Admin at 5:44 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • hmm... the anon poster must have been rude- glad I didn't check sooner, that's all I need. I appreciate you ladies standing up for me.
    This baby was planned, but not for another year lol. Now that it is beyond my control and a year early honestly I am happy to be doing it sooner rather than later.
    I think you are right. every time this baby cried today I got a little more stressed- even though he cried quietly... but his momma picked him up all smiles and it never seemed to affect her. I remember being the same way with my other two as babies. My girls are resilient and absolutely wonderful. I am sure it iwll be okay as soon as my hormones stop making every little sound grate on my nerves... hehe.

    Answer by LuckyClown at 5:52 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • I know how you feel. My baby is now 10 months old and when I was pregnant with her I would say to DH what are we thinking? DD was almost 3 and DS was 4 when she was born.
    It is definately an adjustment, but one made easily.
    You know they say the 3rd baby is the easiest baby! That's been my experience so far. She didn't cry till she was almost 4 days old! Even when they pricked her for her blood test!

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 6:56 PM on Feb. 13, 2009