Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Should I stop my daughter from calling my boyfriend Daddy?

My daughter is about 11 months and she is starting her first words. The man that I am with is not her father but we are getting married this year. Her father is still in her life once a week. And now when she looks and reaches for my boyfriend she calls him Dada. and its clear that shes saying it to him. Her biological father left us when i was 3 months pregnant for another woman and is still with that woman. He wants a part in his daughters life and I am grateful for that but I dont know what to do on who my daughter calls "dad". My boyfriend has been in her life since she was 3 months old and acts like a father to her. Should i just let her call him dad and also her real father? any advice?

Answer Question
 
alliemrodriguez

Asked by alliemrodriguez at 3:42 PM on Jan. 18, 2013 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think it's fine for her to call both Dad - your bf is a father figure and a primary caregiver, so to associate that as "Dad" is proper.

    Have you asked bio-dad what he thinks? Does he have an opinion? Do you care what he thinks (I wouldn't)?
    Have you asked bf how he feels about it? Does he have an opinion?

    If I were in your shoes I would allow this to continue.
    daylily888

    Answer by daylily888 at 3:44 PM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Where did she learn that word?
    Does she call other males dada?
    I suppose it doesn't hurt
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:45 PM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • ^^^I agree w/ daylily on this one.
    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:45 PM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • It is ok for her to call him daddy. but just remeber to tell her later in life who he really is.Not biodad.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:52 PM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Daylily is asking all the right questions.

    I personally think you shouldnt let her till you are in fact married to him.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 3:54 PM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • i havent told her Bio-dad about it yet b/c he is a little annoyed at the fact that my boyfriend is in her life more than him. but he's also told me that he understands bc of what he did to me. And my boyfriend is perfectly fine with her calling him dad bc that is what he is and he loves her just like shes his own. and shes heard the word from daycare and around my family and most likely with her father. Its hard to stop and 11 month from calling him dad when thats all she knows. right now her bio-dad is more like a baby sitter every week. i always use the word dad when referring to her bio-dad when shes around.

    My mother suggested to let it be for now and the worst case scenario is that she has 2 dads. More people to love her, the better.
    alliemrodriguez

    Comment by alliemrodriguez (original poster) at 4:09 PM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • You can't stop an 11 month old from calling him dada. She will not understand for sometime.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 4:25 PM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • Since Mama and Dada are usually the first 2 words a chid learns, it won't be long before she is calling every woman Mama and every man Dada. That's a normal stage of development. If you are indeed marrying the BF SOON and he will continue to be in her life, she/you may want to come up with another dad-like name for your BF for clarification. We have 3 Granny's, I'm telling you it gets confusing for us and our kids when they are trying to tell us something regarding grandma's. What if your BF was "Papa" or "Poppy" or "Daddy T" or "Daddy Sam" (or whatever his name/initial is). Again, she will not understand this for at least another 6-12 months, but she eventually will be able to differentiate them. The more people that kids have pulling for them, the better. Sounds like she has 2 men willing to stand up for her.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 4:41 PM on Jan. 18, 2013

  • I don't see the harm in letting her continue. If you're getting married he's in this for the long run so he'll be more of a father to her (because he'll be the one raising her) than her bio-dad will ever be. I would let this go.
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 4:46 AM on Jan. 19, 2013

  • I think where she is still little it does not matter but as she gets older you may want to sit her down and explain to her the diffrences but I would not worry about it. And maybe talk to your ex bf and explain the situation to him and see how he feels on it.
    Im-HiDdEn

    Answer by Im-HiDdEn at 8:56 AM on Feb. 1, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.