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Im having problems dealing with grief I feel guilty for living when my son died so did my mom and I signed her p.o.a so she could of maybe lived if I didn't sign it!I should of checked to make sure my dad was breathing before I went to bed sleeping aint that important!!! adult content

Well my friend invited me on this site to see if I could achieve my goals and get answers and questions and talk to mom that are having the same problems as I am well I dont mean to get so typical well I felt like I was delt a shitty hand for some reason in life but Im tryin to make the best of it the Lord gave us a hand to show us how confident we can be in life and how much challenge we can do in life and I think we all need a little help or someones hand but anyways Im not tryin to say poor me cause it could be way worse well let me out by saying my name is Stacey Im 29 yrs old with 2 children one son in heaven and one daughter thats eight still here on earth she is my reason for living my dad passed away when I was 19 I found him dead on the couch he died from congestive heart failure worst thing to wake my mom up to tell her I couldnt wake up dad and that he passed away and he was cold and discolored I suffer from p.t.s.d post traumatic stress disorder my mom died Sept 15 2011 @ 10:58 p.m was her last breath I layed with her in hospice for three days in bed with her slept with her talked to her and told her all my dreams and all what was going on and told her she was my best friend and that nothing will never changed that we had so much fun times together and I wouldnt want it any other way then to have you as my mom the best mom I could ever have she atleast got to see my son be born Aug3rd I was induced on my due date so she could see him be born since she had to have brain surgery since she had 2 brain anuerysms she had surgery last yr but they didnt go away so she ended up having her other surgery 10 days after I had my gorgerous son well once my son passed away and I had more time to spend time with him due to my mom dying didnt know my son was dying also at the same time 58 days later... I ended up taking him to the hospital because the dr.kept telling me nothing was wrong with him because he was gaining wait and all so I ended up talking him into a hospital that only deals with children the worst day of my life it was a nightmare!!!! Sept30th 2011 15 days after my mom passed away I was told the worst news ever My son had Lissencephaley a very rare syndrome also known as smoothe braine syndrome so I did a lot of research while I was in the hospital for 2 weeks after they found out it was unbelieveable still is I cant believe I lost my son to Lissencephaley if I could have it my way I wish he could of gave it to me so he could live so I could die for him I cant explain how hard it is to loose my child after he was a lil older then one I prayed everyday my son would get better the lord would cure my son brain its so hard to live in breathe without him I feel so selfish of me Im suppose to die before my child and like I said If I could have it my way I would be watching over them then being here on earth so my daughter could have her brother and her brother could have a daughter and not get cheated out of life!!! I need to seek some kind of counceling so if u have any info on anyone that needs help on grieving I would like to know how you do it if Im doing it right or wrong? sorry for talking your ear off didnt mean to poor my guts out to you take care



always,

Macaroni and Hiccups Mommy!!!!

AKA

Stacey

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Jan. 20, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (20)
  • Did your mom understand that she was going to have another surgery? You signed the paper because you were POA . I am sorry about your son and all you are going thru,it sounds to me as if you have survivors guilt. I am not a professional. I also think talking with a grief counselor will help you,your daughter would also benefit,she lost a little brother and a grandma.

    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 7:16 AM on Feb. 8, 2013

  • <>

    Yes.

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    And maybe she would have dropped dead in front of your daughter. Consider that. My grandfather had an aneurysm similar to what you describe, and he collapsed in our home. I was 12 and I still vividly remember watching the paramedics wheel him out. Your daughter was spared that.

    You do not bear responsibility for either of these deaths. Understand that RIGHT NOW. You're letting grief paralyze you. That could be harmful to y
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:26 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • The only "wrong" way to grieve is to take your own life over it.

    Seeing a counselor (NOT A PSYCHIATRIST) is mandatory for you. And there's no shame in it.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:22 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • yes, it is 100% normal to feel guilty about being alive, when others are not. As many of the Moms suggested, I think you need to get into some counseling, you and your daughter will benefit from it. I would start with getting suggestions for a good grief counselor. Good luck to you.
    jerseydiva

    Answer by jerseydiva at 3:31 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • AHHHHH! Paragraphs!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:31 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • Of course it is normal to feel guilty about the death of a child especially one that young, but there is nothing different you could have done. You need to mourn the loss of your family and learn to live each day keeping them in your heart but not dwelling on the past and what you could have done differently. I agree that you need to talk to someone if not a counselor what about someone at the church or find a support group for those that have lost a child.
    amandajoy21

    Answer by amandajoy21 at 1:37 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • If you don't want to go to a mental health professional, or a doctor, maybe you would consider talking to a pastor/priest/reverend? I am positive that they would not be pushing drugs on you.
    29again

    Answer by 29again at 1:26 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • Ok- so your dad passed 10 years ago.
    Your mom passed over a year ago.
    And it's been about a month since your child passed?

    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 1:25 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • I signed the paper for her to have surgery she eneded up having a brain stem stroke which killed her if I wouldnt of signed that paper maybe she would of lived longer since they said she had those anueyrsms for over 30 yrs intwined in her brain!!! sorry dont mean to make it sound like poor me cause it could be worse I know that!!!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:40 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • what Im asking is it normal to feel guilty for living when my son diedand I cant believed i miss typed the yr Dec 6th 2012 and also just want to let you know being power of attorney over someone like I was like my mom since my father already passed I will never be a power of attorney over anyone again it was the hardest thing to decide and now that I already decided I have second descions and nothing I could do about it so Im just wanting to give you a heads up really think about it before you sign a paper saying you will be power of attorney of one of the love of your lifes like I did my mom I didnt know what I was getting myself into because now I feel like not only am I guilty my son passed and im living but when my mom had her first surgery she came out of it she knew who we all were but the dr were suggesting another kind of surgery instead of clipping it they wanted to clamp it so since I was power of attorney of my mom
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:37 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

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