Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Im having problems dealing with grief I feel guilty for living when my son died so did my mom and I signed her p.o.a so she could of maybe lived if I didn't sign it!I should of checked to make sure my dad was breathing before I went to bed sleeping aint that important!!! adult content

Well my friend invited me on this site to see if I could achieve my goals and get answers and questions and talk to mom that are having the same problems as I am well I dont mean to get so typical well I felt like I was delt a shitty hand for some reason in life but Im tryin to make the best of it the Lord gave us a hand to show us how confident we can be in life and how much challenge we can do in life and I think we all need a little help or someones hand but anyways Im not tryin to say poor me cause it could be way worse well let me out by saying my name is Stacey Im 29 yrs old with 2 children one son in heaven and one daughter thats eight still here on earth she is my reason for living my dad passed away when I was 19 I found him dead on the couch he died from congestive heart failure worst thing to wake my mom up to tell her I couldnt wake up dad and that he passed away and he was cold and discolored I suffer from p.t.s.d post traumatic stress disorder my mom died Sept 15 2011 @ 10:58 p.m was her last breath I layed with her in hospice for three days in bed with her slept with her talked to her and told her all my dreams and all what was going on and told her she was my best friend and that nothing will never changed that we had so much fun times together and I wouldnt want it any other way then to have you as my mom the best mom I could ever have she atleast got to see my son be born Aug3rd I was induced on my due date so she could see him be born since she had to have brain surgery since she had 2 brain anuerysms she had surgery last yr but they didnt go away so she ended up having her other surgery 10 days after I had my gorgerous son well once my son passed away and I had more time to spend time with him due to my mom dying didnt know my son was dying also at the same time 58 days later... I ended up taking him to the hospital because the dr.kept telling me nothing was wrong with him because he was gaining wait and all so I ended up talking him into a hospital that only deals with children the worst day of my life it was a nightmare!!!! Sept30th 2011 15 days after my mom passed away I was told the worst news ever My son had Lissencephaley a very rare syndrome also known as smoothe braine syndrome so I did a lot of research while I was in the hospital for 2 weeks after they found out it was unbelieveable still is I cant believe I lost my son to Lissencephaley if I could have it my way I wish he could of gave it to me so he could live so I could die for him I cant explain how hard it is to loose my child after he was a lil older then one I prayed everyday my son would get better the lord would cure my son brain its so hard to live in breathe without him I feel so selfish of me Im suppose to die before my child and like I said If I could have it my way I would be watching over them then being here on earth so my daughter could have her brother and her brother could have a daughter and not get cheated out of life!!! I need to seek some kind of counceling so if u have any info on anyone that needs help on grieving I would like to know how you do it if Im doing it right or wrong? sorry for talking your ear off didnt mean to poor my guts out to you take care



always,

Macaroni and Hiccups Mommy!!!!

AKA

Stacey

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on Jan. 20, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (20)
  • You already answered your own question

    " I need to seek some kind of counceling "

    You know what you need to do so now all there is to do is to do it. Talk to your family practitioner and tehy will get you set up with a recommendation. From there it is making appointments and talking to your counselor.

    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 11:57 AM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • OK, I'm not reading past the initial question b/c the answer is simply.... you need HELP with this.... get into counseling ASAP.... somethings you just need help working thru!!!!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:59 AM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • I was just hoping to find someone on here to help me through all this instead of going through a dr. thats all they wanna do is feed you pills I was just curious if Im grieving right sorry to bother yall
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:07 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • You need counseling, that is something none of us can give you. You need to talk to a grief counselor.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 12:10 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • Counselors don't feed you pills.... only a physician can do that. And, sometimes you NEED to go on medication in the short term to get over the worst of it. Either way you NEED to talk to a professional about this... not a bunch of strangers on the internet!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 12:11 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • There is nothing wrong with getting help if you know you are having trouble geting through the day. The day after my sons 5th birthday while we were all out having a great time at a chocolate festvial my sister, her two sons and my cousin passed away. I felt a lot of guilt that I was having so much fun while they were dying. You always hear stories of people having "feelings" that something was wrong, the only indication I had, which I didn't notice until later was the radio was playinga Reba song called "My sister". I can't talk to m mother because she just breaks down, but I have a friend who lost her mothr a few years ago so we talk to eachother often about our family and it helps a lot. You jst need someone to talk to.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 12:11 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • Um, NO that is not all doctor's want to do and if you make it clear you are looking for grief counseling then they can help you with that and even recommend a grief counselor. The grief counselor will help you to realize that you are internalizing much of this, the reasons, why and how to let go of the guilt you are carrying with you in regards to these deaths. (None of which are your fault).
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 12:11 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • You need to find a counselor or other mental health professional with whom you are comfortable. A good one will not only push meds. And it is ok to fire a doctor if you are not comfortable with your treatment.

    To help you deal with the loss of your child, look up Compassionate Friends. They help people deal with child loss - any type. Just dealing with one loss will help you find the strength to deal with the others.

    I hope you find the solace and help that you need.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 12:14 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • thanks for the comments Im just scared to get help I guess cause I think I feel like Ive lost all control since Dec6th 2011 I feel as if my life went out of wack and I cant get it under control maybe this is not the website for me I just dont want a dr to committ me if he thinks Im crazy or something cause in my mind I feel like I have lost all control but I feel if u tell them that they might take it wrongly....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:24 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • Life isn't about the hand you're dealt, it's what you do with the cards you've got. You're not even playing the game, so how do you expect to win?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:27 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.