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Going to my MIL's wake tonight and funeral tomorrow at her strict church. How do we deal with seeing a huge number of people, many of whom I won't even know?

There will be 100's of people attending this...her entire congregation, of which is very restrictive (no music, dancing, drinking, no makeup or haircut/color or pants for get it), so this will take hours. There are 5 kids, plus the spouses (I don't know if children stand in the receiving line...?) and at least 2 of them (my husband's sisters) will yakkkety yak without regard to how they are holding up the line. That's is what happened at my father in law's funeral anyway...most distressing, since I had people literally stuck standing in front of me who I didn't even know.
Thoughts? Tips?

Answer Question

Asked by dflygirl7 at 2:13 PM on Jan. 20, 2013 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 12 (751 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Just go with the flow & it will all be over soon. I know of no religion (except perhaps Orthodox Jewish) that doesn't allow makeup, just curious? I am no expert though.


    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:18 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • Just be polite and try to tend to the closer relatives of your MIL to make sure they are ok. I find helping the ones who are a little more shattered helps me get through it. Get them water, tissues, etc. If you're stuck in the reception line just politely shake hands and nod a lot. Sorry for your loss.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 2:41 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • If you don't want to get stuck in the line, offer to tend kids.
    The little buggers never know what to do with themselves and their parents are so distracted.

    Answer by feralxat at 2:49 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • Simply keep your mind on why you are there. Take their condolences and thank them.

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:24 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • ^^^what Dardenella said

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 6:53 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • In what way is this event about YOU?
    What does it matter how long it takes? It means your MIL was a women with lots of people who loved her.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 8:08 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • Don't worry about the people, your going to pay your respects and support your husband and his family. If people you don't know offer their condolences etc thank them and talk to people the way you normally would. I guess I'm not understanding whats distressing about people you don't know being there, that's quite normal at these types of things.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 10:01 PM on Jan. 20, 2013

  • Phew... Hope it went well. I saw all the restrictions and it immediately brought to mind my old church group. Ugh. I hate having to show up for those things. We actually could wear make-up and cut our hair, but not rock music, dancing, drinking, and we HAD to wear a skirt or dress. Pants were a HUGE Always kinda confusing to me...


    Answer by Ruthmom802 at 7:55 PM on Jan. 22, 2013

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