I don't like either of the choices, but I'll admit I've lost my cool and done both occasionally. I guess if I were forced to choose, yelling to me is worse because it implies being out of control, where spanking may be done calmly and deliberately. My parents were both chronic yellers, and their raised voices still haunt me even though I've been out of their home for over twenty years. Belittling, name calling, and harsh scolding can break a child's heart. Spanking done in anger can, too. I still remember my dad pulling me over his lap and spanking me for something when I was in early elementary school, I don't recall what, and then shoving me roughly off his knees so that I landed on his boots crying. That cut deep. I just try to be the most loving parent I can be so that my daughter's experience is different, and I've been known to apologize to her for losing my cool and yelling. It seems the only fair thing to do.