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My 18 year old daughter is giving her baby up for adoption to a distant family member. The family member agrees to an open adoption that my daughter will receive pictures every year and will receive a visit every year. I think this is fair my daughter doesn't. She wants visits every other week.

I calmly explained when she gives up this baby she is giving up her right to parent.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Jan. 21, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • She is clearly not ready to give her baby up yet. Find an adoption counselor for her to talk to. When she give that baby up she won't be coparenting. She won't have a say. It seems clear she doesn't grasp that yet.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:18 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

  • Every other week is unheard of for an open adoption. The most I have ever heard of is 4 visits a year and I have only heard of that once. In most open adoptions, letters and pics is all that is provided to the birth parent. She is lucky to be getting one visit a year.

    I recommend that you get your daughter in to an adoption counselor ASAP. If she is going to give this baby up, she needs to be ready and she needs the support and guidance of a professional.


    Answer by theMOMmission at 2:23 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

  • What is you're question then? You must have made the choice for her, right?

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:23 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

  • Both you and that relative need to be prepared for the possibility that she's going to change her mind.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:24 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

  • Ilovemypaulie- Actually no she decided on giving the baby up not me she's 18 its her choice she came and told me she knows she isn't financially ready to raise the baby and she wants to go to college. She is headed to medical school so she has a lot on her plate.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:25 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

  • I agree a bit with the first comment. She can not expect to see the child that often...this is an adoption arrangement, not a custody arrangement. I would involve an adoption counselor and make sure that the exact plan is clearly laid out for her. The adoptive parents need to do the same...write out a clear cut plan for the child and the birth mothers involvement. Best of luck!

    Answer by khedy at 2:38 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

  • Hmmmm. I'm suspicious of this question

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 2:55 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

  • if this is real please make sure you suggest adoption counseling. Single women make it through many things with children so she needs to make sure this is trulysomething she can live with, placing a child for adoption can cause worse stress on a person and a loss of drive in life than keeping your child and working your ass off to make it work.

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 3:46 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

  • I love that she's 18 and "headed to med school". LOL.......there's along way from high school to med school

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 4:20 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

  • I hope everyone has a lawyer and everything is being handled legally. Your daughter is very young maybe some counseling to help her with the decision making process? If you cannot afford one call 211. Good luck.

    Answer by booklover545 at 5:51 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

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