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How can I get my parents to be more strict and set a timeline for Adult siblings to move out of their home.

Oldest sister 33 full time retail job/ recently divorced with two daughters.Sister 27 with one daughter, husband on military contract job in Alaska. Sister 24 no kids full time retail job w/ student debt. Sister 33 pays 150.00 rent. Sister 27 pays 300.00. Sister 24 pays 50.00. My parents spend up all their monthly income from my dads pension, are always stuck watching my nieces. They will not be prepared for retirement. What can I do? What can I say?

Answer Question

Asked by aaronwayward at 10:43 PM on Jan. 21, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • You cant really do anything about it, is your parents ddecision, you can talk to them about your concerns, maybe talk to your sister's about it also, other that that not much you can do.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 2:34 AM on Jan. 22, 2013

  • My recommendation is to tell them what you think. Don't try to make it "persuasive" or "right," and don't focus on convincing them. Own your opinions & feelings, instead.
    Tell them your perceptions. Tell them what you want, what you're worried about, what frustrates you about the situation, and offer your solutions or make any suggestions you wish to make.
    Then keep in mind what people here have said that this is their choice, not something you can force or control. It isn't about convincing them PRECISELY because this is true (it's their decision)!

    I think responding to your frustration & upset is important (this is why you "say something") but I think it's important to do it with a clear sense that this is about communicating your emotional experience, not about "getting" them to change.
    Are you afraid for their retirement (it will all fall to you or something?) or frustrated with fairness, or??? Try to clarify this inside.

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:35 AM on Jan. 22, 2013

  • They are not living with you so I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe your parents like having their family so close and be able to see them everyday!? Unless you hear them complaining about their living situation there really isn't anything you need or should say.

    Answer by MamaLisec at 1:49 AM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • Your parents are fully aware of the burden they've chosen. When, and only when, they get sick and tired of it will things change. Until then, the gravy train for your sisters will continue. I wonder if the same sisters will support them in their old age?

    Answer by Jomasjc at 8:16 AM on Feb. 1, 2013

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