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How can I get my parents to be more strict and set a timeline for Adult siblings to move out of their home.

Oldest sister 33 full time retail job/ recently divorced with two daughters.Sister 27 with one daughter, husband on military contract job in Alaska. Sister 24 no kids full time retail job w/ student debt. Sister 33 pays 150.00 rent. Sister 27 pays 300.00. Sister 24 pays 50.00. My parents spend up all their monthly income from my dads pension, are always stuck watching my nieces. They will not be prepared for retirement. What can I do? What can I say?

Answer Question
 
aaronwayward

Asked by aaronwayward at 10:43 PM on Jan. 21, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Your parents are fully aware of the burden they've chosen. When, and only when, they get sick and tired of it will things change. Until then, the gravy train for your sisters will continue. I wonder if the same sisters will support them in their old age?
    Jomasjc

    Answer by Jomasjc at 8:16 AM on Feb. 1, 2013

  • They are not living with you so I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe your parents like having their family so close and be able to see them everyday!? Unless you hear them complaining about their living situation there really isn't anything you need or should say.
    MamaLisec

    Answer by MamaLisec at 1:49 AM on Jan. 28, 2013

  • My recommendation is to tell them what you think. Don't try to make it "persuasive" or "right," and don't focus on convincing them. Own your opinions & feelings, instead.
    Tell them your perceptions. Tell them what you want, what you're worried about, what frustrates you about the situation, and offer your solutions or make any suggestions you wish to make.
    Then keep in mind what people here have said that this is their choice, not something you can force or control. It isn't about convincing them PRECISELY because this is true (it's their decision)!

    I think responding to your frustration & upset is important (this is why you "say something") but I think it's important to do it with a clear sense that this is about communicating your emotional experience, not about "getting" them to change.
    Are you afraid for their retirement (it will all fall to you or something?) or frustrated with fairness, or??? Try to clarify this inside.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:35 AM on Jan. 22, 2013

  • You cant really do anything about it, is your parents ddecision, you can talk to them about your concerns, maybe talk to your sister's about it also, other that that not much you can do.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 2:34 AM on Jan. 22, 2013

  • Nothing. These things are their choice.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:48 AM on Jan. 22, 2013

  • Have you tried to talk with your parents about your concerns? Without criticism? What about talking to your siblings?
    8-isenough

    Answer by 8-isenough at 12:42 AM on Jan. 22, 2013

  • It's really none of your business... your parents are grown... and you are not in charge of their lives.
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 12:34 AM on Jan. 22, 2013

  • I do not think you can say anything at all. They are adults and doing what they want.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:18 AM on Jan. 22, 2013

  • They are your parents, you can't get them to do anything. They have been putting up with this for a while, why would they stop now. What if you need to move back in when you are an adult? Would you want them to kick you out?
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 11:44 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

  • It's their decision what they do. They're all grown up. It's hard when you feel that someone is being taken advantage of, but if they're mentally competent, they'll figure out teir own retirement.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 10:52 PM on Jan. 21, 2013

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