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2 Bumps

Dog/mil dilemna.....

I've had various issues with dh's mother (mil) over the last year and a half-ish...she's asked to stay with us knowing her and I don't get along, wants dh to drive out of his way to take her places, and when she doesn't cover enough gas and dh lets her know, she guilt-trips him and he caves. Dh has a savior complex and is a mama's boy, and his mom takes full advantage of it.

my brother in law (bil for short, dh's brother) gets treated like a golden boy, getting a LOT of help from his mom when they're struggling less than us.Details are in previous questions from past...

Current situation is mil is scheduled for shoulder surgery and asked us to keep her baby chihuahua for 3 weeks. We live in an apartment complex that has a rule of no guest pets. When my parents visited for a day they wanted to bring their dog but manager said no. Dh told her no initially because of the rule and was gonna have friends (who are TERRIBLE housekeepers) keep the dog instead. Golden boy had said no apparently...problem is when golden boy tells her no she doesn't push like she does with us-and I think it's wrong that golden boy gets all the help and WE get asked for all the favors.

Dh went to the manager without me and manager said yes to 2 weeks only. (same amount of time we're allowed to have guests). When I spoke to her the next time I told her I didnt want the dog here (cuz I know hes enough of a mamas boy to pull what he is pulling, and baby chihuahua's are a lot of work-and the dog cries at night).

Dh has said we may need to keep the dog an extra week but I told him the manager wont approve that. He's saying "she's just gonna have to understand, my mom NEEDS me." His mother KNOWS guest pets aren't allowed and KNEW she'd be putting us in a tough spot asking us this. I'm thinking of going to the manager and telling her to threaten animal control if the dog isn't gone at 2 weeks. Mil is at her sisters house, so she could easily have taken the dog with her-AND we got stuck with the dog this Sunday. Her shoulder surgery isn't even until Friday!!

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purplerobin

Asked by purplerobin at 1:49 PM on Jan. 23, 2013 in Pets

Level 19 (6,468 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Where is she recuperating? The Dog should be where she is. Otherwise a Kennel is the way to go.

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:57 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • A boarding Kennel I mean.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:59 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • Oh no! Your dog ran away,lol
    I've always figured that if you can't afford to board your pet,you shouldn't have it
    2 (or 3) weeks is asking ALOT of anyone
    One day past the 2 weeks,I'd drop the little bugger off at the BIL's house,and walk away when they opened the door
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:02 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • Tell your hubby that he is the one that will dealing with the dog. Since he is the one that wants it there. I would not do a thing for the dog since you dont want it there.
    BOOGIETHEBOOG

    Answer by BOOGIETHEBOOG at 2:39 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • I would keep the dog. Kennels are a small fortune!! You can handle it for only 3 weeks.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 2:44 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • This is the way it will be unless your husband decides on his own that things are wrong. This is the man you married. You either have to understand that this is just the way it is or be miserable your whole life or leave. I am not trying to be mean but we each step into different roles within our families and though those rolls change when we marry, they do not go away. That is just a fact.
    You can mention bording the dog or taking the dog with her but in the end it will be what mamma needs.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:23 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • Dardenella what about boundaries? There HAS to be a way to set some!
    purplerobin

    Comment by purplerobin (original poster) at 5:54 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • mompam, the issue is with the landlord-AND making mil understand that I wont put up with her bs. I talked to the manager this morning and she let dh know that the pooch has to be out on the 4th or we're evicted-and I don't appreciate her putting us into that type of spot-OR dh for not having a backbone.

    boogie-I'm NOT doing a thing for the dog. I am not much of dog person to begin with, and I had various reasons aside from mil issues for not wanting the pooch in the first place-so dh can take care of it!
    purplerobin

    Comment by purplerobin (original poster) at 5:58 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • There's no way I'd risk eviction over somebody else's dog ... Play it by the rules. Keep it for the 2 weeks you were allowed and then make it clear that if MIL hasn't made plans for kenneling it that you will personally take it and dump it in her lap ... Dogs aren't allowed there? What a shame. She should have thought of that and planned ahead.
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 4:00 AM on Jan. 24, 2013

  • Something tells me this is about you and MIL and nothing to do with a dog. If your willing to keep the dogs for 2 weeks, then why not go for 3. If you don't want to help out your MIL, I understand, but do it for the dog! lol
    marshsmom

    Answer by marshsmom at 5:57 PM on Jan. 28, 2013

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