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How do I deal with all of this?

So many situations with my mom where she has said some VERY hurtful things, she treats me much differently then she treats my other siblings, including grand kids (she will watch other grand kids but when I ask her to watch my boys, she takes forever to give me an answer, we always give her plenty of notice to make sure she doesn't have other plans and she won't give me an answer until it's a day ahead) She is FOREVER jealous of my mother in law and the relationship I have with her. She constantly belittles me for things that I decide for my family and my boys. Every time I talk to her, she acts like I am a bother and then when I distance myself, she doesn't understand why. She will never apologize for anything she ever does or says that is hurtful. I am just tired of it...I had it out with her today because she accused me of hiding things on MY facebook from her (I am 30 years old!) She always ends these kinds of conversations with a threat/guilt trip and this time I called her on it and she just hung up on me...She needs therapy...I probably need therapy. Right now, I am currently pregnant with my third boy (due in May) and I can not get far enough from her since she just stresses me out....How would you deal with this? She actually told someone who informed me "Watch out for "S" when she is pregnant, she had it out for sibling A now it's sibling B"....I don't have a problem with anyone else, and nothing I say will be taken seriously since I am apparently just a B**** when I am pregnant...

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Jan. 23, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • How about not dealing with it? Just don't engage with her, you said you have a great relationship with your MIL (imagine all your other siblings bitch about thiers). Stop posting personal things on facebook, stop giving her "feed" to make you upset. Just pick up the phone when she calls you and keep it short, as much as we would all like to have the perfect mother, most of us don't. Let it go, breathe deep and let the bad out. Don't downgrade her to anyone, just let her be who she is, SHE is the one losing not you.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 2:47 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • I don't talk about her and I don't post ANYTHING on FB about her or anyone except my kiddo's I suppose, I like to keep it positive! Hell I didn't even tell my own husband about the conversation because he doesn't need to add anything to it....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:51 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • Then just accept that's the way it is & realize that you can't change your mother.

    Answer by 3libras at 2:53 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • do not friend your mother on fb
    always have something you need to do when she calls and close the conversation or just dont answer

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 3:15 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • write her off.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:19 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • I have come to the hard realization that family does not mean friend. Toxic people exist everywhere. I would minimize all contact. Make your life with the family you have built. Love your mother and respect her but that does not mean you have to put up with mistreatment.

    Answer by booklover545 at 4:36 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • That would be easy...just to walk away from it all and I have for the most part. I think most of today I have just realized that through a situation that happened this last fall and what she said, it genuinely changed the way I feel about her and my sister and brother. I never realized how catty they were until then. The trust and respect I had for her has completely changed. I am not sure how this will ever be fixed or if it ever could be fixed. You can't change what you don't acknowledge and she is never wrong, so I should stop dwelling on this.

    It was quite strange, I am not a person who sweats, and I had a physical sweat response after I talked to her, that is how she effects me...I don't think it's very healthy to me or this baby for me to engage with her, which will piss the entire family off...and I am not the type of person to run to the rest of the family and tattle (nope, just random strangers annon, thank you!)

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:57 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

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