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7 Bumps

Sensitive sexual question, need thoughts or experiences please adult content

First, THIS IS NOT A TROLL POST so save your finger-pointing. It's a serious question and mature answers of all kinds are welcomed and appreciated. 

I am asking this for a friend who is not a member here and is afraid to talk about this to anyone but me. She and her DH have had bad marital problems for the last couple of years. They fight, and she really feels like she is no longer in love with or attracted to him. They have not been intimate in about a year. 

She recently discovered that he had used at least once, and possibly more, her vibrator. (In his butt, in case I need to spell it out)  She was horrified and disgusted. She feel sort of confused about her repulsion because she is not homophobic at all, but she just thinks there is something sort of wrong about this. He insists he doesn't have gay tendencies and that it just feels good, most men do it,  and that she is being close-minded. She is now even more repulsed at the thought of having sex with him than she was before. 

What are your opinions on men using devices in their asses? Gay, not gay, normal? Something to be concerned over? Thanks in advance. 

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Jan. 23, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (73)
  • Oh wow, I was all prepared as I was reading that it was going to be her only being able to orgasm with a vibrator. the HELLO! I can only speak from what goes on in my house, my husband does not like his anus touched period. That being said it doesn't mean her husband is gay, just likes the feeling of it. I am curious to know how she "discovered" that he used her vibrator? I know women who love anal, but we are a butt-free zone here.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 8:01 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • I've never encountered it, but I have heard some men really do just like it because of all the nerve endings in the anus. It doesn't necessarily make them any gayer than liking someone to perform oral on you makes you a lesbian.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 8:04 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • I personaly, think it is not normal for a straight guy to want to be a$$ fu##ed. I would be freaked out to if I found out my DH was doing that.

    Answer by louise2 at 8:04 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • PLENTY of straight men use devices. It stimulates the prostate gland and actually that allows alkalines to be released which help neutralize the acid in the females body and increase the chance of conception.
    Some guys like it, some don't. Just like some girls like anal and some don't. Or masturbation. Or well, the list continues. As long as it is getting cleaned after each use (or orifice as the case may be) who the hell cares.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 8:04 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • Ph and stimulation of the prostate gland is linked to orgasms in males which is why some enjoy having it "massaged" It just so happens that the anus is the closest orifice in which to access the prostate gland (through pressure).

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 8:08 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • I have read that men can find it very pleasurable - I think it's prostate stimulation? But a lot of men, of course, aren't comfortable with the idea, so many of them may not even know.

    I don't know that I would assume that it means he's gay - to me, that would be the same as saying a woman is gay because she likes oral sex. I would, however, think that this indicates it's time for them to have a serious sit down talk about what they each enjoy and figure out if they can make it work or not.

    And if she can accept what he's doing - get him his own vibrator!

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:08 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • Not gay at all. "Gay" refers to a sexual attraction to the member of the same sex. A gay person is not defined by the act of anal sex, (some gay men do not even receive anal sex), they want to be married, kiss, cuddle and hold hands with a man.

    What he is doing is stimulating the prostate gland (male g-spot) and the internal 1/4 of the penis, which is the same thing you stimulate during hetero sex, just from a different angle.

    Now what concerns me is what she did with the toy. It's HIS now, never to go near her lady bits again. She's got to get her own, and since he ruined hers, I suggest he'd better get "spendy" and buy her a nice upgrade. (I'd recommend something from the LELO collection, but hey that's just my opinion!)

    The relationship was rocky, he wasn't getting any, so he explored different ways of getting himself off. At least he wasn't cheating!
    She needs to get off her high horse and stop being so judgmental.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 8:13 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • while I find all aspect of ass fucking icky male or female, i hear from certian friends that I am close minded LOL

    I also agree though it does not make him gay

    The assfuckery by dildo is not the issue either....this is the issue.....

    ***They fight, and she really feels like she is no longer in love with or attracted to him. They have not been intimate in about a year. **** the marriage is over for her, is she looking for a reason to leave? This dildo is not it but shes clearly unhappy, they need to discuss if they would be happier apart I think.

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 8:14 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • The only thing that grosses me out is that he is using HER vibrator. He needs his own as it is just NOT hygenic. Yes, many men enjoy this however, I have not known a straight man who enjoyed a "full sized" vibrator, they usually like the skinny ones or butt plugs.

    Answer by vampporcupine at 8:16 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

  • Quite frankly more men would probably do it but they are afraid of the stigmatization that goes with it and think that it's considered "gay" and if they do it it'll mean they're "Gay" which as PGA stated is NOT the case. as "gay" or homosexual refers to attraction of the same gender not how they get off.


    Answer by KristiS11384 at 8:16 PM on Jan. 23, 2013

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